#1
So in almost everything I write I have one or more acoustic interludes, and most of my crits say that my acoustic stuff is great. So I went ahead and wrote a nice little acoustic piece. The intro is pretty chill, and then towards the middle and end there's some really cool progressions and some parts might make you cry.

But yeah, I really like this, so take a listen. And check out my other stuff too, if you have a chance. C4C, of course.

Edit: Sorry about the tags, it just kind of slipped my mind.
Attachments:
Brand New Song.zip
I'm a person.
Last edited by PinkIsCool at Sep 15, 2007,
#2
Wow! That's brilliant. Love the piano duet. Were you just planning on ahving it an instumental?
#3
Quote by Wednesday Bass
Wow! That's brilliant. Love the piano duet. Were you just planning on ahving it an instumental?

Yeah it's suppossed to be an instrumental, but I could probrably add vocals pretty easily.
I'm a person.
#4
The acoustic passage to begin was good, a nice introductory segment. Although the repeats at bars 7/8 were unnecessary, that riff flowed nicely from the previous one. The piano that came in was good also, but I thought the string part contradicted the acoustic part. There was a melody created in the acoustic part which felt as if it was being combated by the string part because they were playing completely different things.

Bars 20 to 27: I dont think you need any repeats, if you just let it play through it sounds like a very improvised and original short interlude, the repeats make it sound like youre just trying to make the song longer. Listen to it without the repeat bars in those segments and hopefully youll understand what I mean. When people listen to acoustic songs like this, they dont want the same riffs played over again, they want progressing riffs, something different coming at them. If you have vocals or something else over those riffs to tie them together thats completely different, but from the tab I think it neednt the repeats. It will make the passage sound more engaging.

Bars 45 and 49: I didnt think you needed the fast triplets. Yes it adds some interest into the song, but the song itself is a fairly relaxed song and adding these short fast riffs into it just jots the listener a bit and it loses a slight touch of its relaxed feeling it has throughout the rest of the song.
As the angel kisses me once again
You scream poison as you glare
Your bow and arrow by your side
As if you cared


It's a mour......astral congregation
#5
There is one minor adjustment I would make to that song. On the second bar and all the others like it, I would change the second to last note to a D#, and the last one to a D.
#6
Very nice piece. You definitely know what you're doing, and you're not afraid to try things that aren't typical. The acoustic guitar part goes on for a little too long, and honestly I think most first-time listeners might tune out and change the music before the piano even comes in. However, once the piano comes in, everything is great. Lots of UG'ers write for piano as if it's some play thing, but you know how to use the instrument well, even as an accompaniment. So, overall, shorten the acoustic guitar intro, and this piece would be very effective.

Crit for crit?
Check out "Despertar del Ama" in my profile. You can just comment on it there.
#7
very nice

not much else to say really....very nice....

sounds very orchestrated

8.5/10

oh and cheers for the crit by the way
#9
Well, that was like... different. But totally awesome. You should write movie soundstracks dude.
Quote by lizarday
oh yeah? well larry king the slayer guitarist owns bc rich guitars. (i think)
#10
Haha thanks guys I really appreciate the kind words and it means a lot that you think my music is so good... it really does.

I think I'll crit some of your tunes now.
I'm a person.
#11
i absolutely loved 40 :O, the whole thing was spectacular.

only thing i could possibly criticize is that in my mind the pauses wer a bit distracting

-other than that, i loved it kudos, and keep it up
#12
hey pink is cool do you have any music knowledge or did you write this out of listining to other songs cause this is cool!
#13
Quote by yawn
Very nice piece. You definitely know what you're doing, and you're not afraid to try things that aren't typical. The acoustic guitar part goes on for a little too long, and honestly I think most first-time listeners might tune out and change the music before the piano even comes in. However, once the piano comes in, everything is great. Lots of UG'ers write for piano as if it's some play thing, but you know how to use the instrument well, even as an accompaniment. So, overall, shorten the acoustic guitar intro, and this piece would be very effective.

Crit for crit?
Check out "Despertar del Ama" in my profile. You can just comment on it there.


he said exactly what i was gonna say. the guitar intro is way too long if you want to keep the listeners attention IMO. i was getting really antsy i guess for lack of a better word while listening to it. however, like yawn said, once the piano and strings came in it was awesome. to be more specific, i suggest you completely cut meaures 12-17, but you can work with that.
i really liked 38 through 41. it was simple, yet very very effective.
i also think you should cut some of the repeats on certain sections. or just change a riff a bit the second time around. really good job though. congrats.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#14
Quote by jose92fu
hey pink is cool do you have any music knowledge or did you write this out of listining to other songs cause this is cool!

I have musical knowledge. I just made sure to keep all my parts in Cm and to have it not sound crappy.

Edit: Wow, this is a really old song....
I'm a person.
#15
hey that sounded really good, but i cant really say what bars and stuff i liked, because i dont have guitar pro. is there anyway you could put it in power tab or convert it into just normal text? if you can, that'd be great. Thanks!
#16
Quote by PinkIsCool
I have musical knowledge. I just made sure to keep all my parts in Cm and to have it not sound crappy.

Edit: Wow, this is a really old song....

**** i was hoping you say no cause i dont know **** cant understand chords and all that crap at all!!
XD
#17
Quote by jose92fu
**** i was hoping you say no cause i dont know **** cant understand chords and all that crap at all!!
XD

Music theory isn't all that diffucult, man. You could probrably learn a lot of it on your own from a book, or maybe even from an article on this site. But getting a reliable teacher works way better.
I'm a person.
#19
that is actually amazing!!!
sounds like an amazing version of the sort of thing ud listen to on the sims
nice work
lots of repeats tho
#21
Thanks for the crit!

I really like the intro, it does well to set the mood for the song. I am bit undecided as to bars 7 and 9, though, with the last notes just ringing. It seems kind of abrupt, and almost kills the flow of the song.

In my opinion, when the intro comes back at bar 12, have strings come in then. And bar 18, once again, confuses me - the abruptness just seems totally out of place. At bar 20, it all comes in at once, so the first half second or so seems like a jarbled mess until you realize "oh hey, this is cool". By having the strings coming in at bar 12, it could probably eliminate any sort of roughness.

Beyond that, though, to be honest, there's not much else to crit. The piano and guitar usage was just plain beautiful. I enjoyed every second of it from there on out. Props to you for that one.

All in all, I say an 8.9/10, just because of the minor nuisances. Excellent work, dude.
#23
Dude that's quite amazing! 9.5/10

The only thing that throws it off even remotely is the abrupt pause every now & then. Other than that great!
#24
Very nice song...

All the notes stayed in Cm (except 2 or 3 A's in the first piano part), maybe you should expand to it, use harmonic or melodic minor for some of those guitar passages, or maybe even a mode of the harmonic minor, etc. If not it seems like the piece follows only one specific direction, and sometimes it can induce some kind of boredom I guess (specially if the piece is long enough)...
The guitar part was getting kind of boring after a while, specially with some unnecessary repetitions, but when the piano came in I was like (nice string usage too)...
Also, I would say maybe use other type of note selection (don't know if that is the term) with the acoustic guitar other than arpeggios and scales...

But overall it was good 8/10
Wanna crit one of mine in my sig?