#1
Wallflower

See that girl sitting over there,
She’s afraid to join in the revels.
Can’t join in, so she sits and stares,
She’s afraid to face her own devils.

And so she sits there—just watching the world go by.
Yes she sits there—when she wants to go talk to that guy.

But she’s a wallflower, petals on the floor,
She’s a full size cutout plastered on the wall,
When she could be so much more.
Wallflower, growing to the side.
She should have been watered with some social skills,
But she knows they’ve been denied.


See that boy talking over there,
He’s afraid to make new connections.
A third-person speaker in his own affairs,
`Cause he follows other’s directions.

And still he sits there, just watching the world,
When he wants to be talking to that pretty girl,
And so he’s wilting, he needs love and affection,
But he just can’t move in the right direction…

Cause he’s a wallflower, petals on the floor,
A full size cutout plastered on the wall,
When he could be so much more.
Yes he’s a Wallflower, growing to the side.
Should have been watered with some social skills,
But He knows they’ve been denied.


We have all felt the same before,
When we’ve been afraid to walk through the door,
But if won’t go out and become exposed,
Then I must assure you that that door is closed

And then you’ll sit there, all you’re wanting is in,
`cause you know that the party is about to begin,
And yet you’ll sit there, fail to join in the fun,
Though you know that the party has already begun…

Cause you’re a wallflower, petals on the floor,
Full size cutout plastered on the wall,
When you could be so much more.
Yes you’re a wallflower, growing to the side.
Should have been watered with some social skills,
But you know they’ve been denied,
Yes you know they’ve been denied.
#2
I think we've all felt afraid to take that leap before, even if only for a moment, and this song captures that perfectly. Some of the rhymes seem forced, such as:

And so she sits there—just watching the world go by.
Yes she sits there—when she wants to go talk to that guy.

But there are also some very well executed rhymes in the rest of the piece. The chorus is brilliant in my opinion, that's my favorite part. Nice job, and I hope your Wallflower is feeling less rejected now
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
Last edited by Billyjson at Jun 3, 2008,
#3
Quote by Bryan C
Wallflower

See that girl sitting over there,
She’s afraid to join in the revels.
revels sounds a tad forced, but no biggie
Can’t join in, so she sits and stares,
She’s afraid to face her own devils.
good opening stanza, but a little further description of this girl wouldnt hurt.

And so she sits there—just watching the world go by.
Yes she sits there—when she wants to go talk to that guy.
a bit cliche, but in an endeering way...i can see this going to maybe a Piebald song

But she’s a wallflower, petals on the floor,
She’s a full size cutout plastered on the wall,
fullsized cutout is VERY cool, but the repitition of wall is buggin me
When she could be so much more.
Wallflower, growing to the side.
She should have been watered with some social skills,
'watering' kindof extends the metaphor into silliness, but like i said, if youre going for a tongue-in-cheek indy schtick, it works
But she knows they’ve been denied.


See that boy talking over there,
if these are anti-social types, talking seems out of character
He’s afraid to make new connections.
A third-person speaker in his own affairs,
NICE!
`Cause he follows other’s directions.

And still he sits there, just watching the world,
When he wants to be talking to that pretty girl,
And so he’s wilting, he needs love and affection,
But he just can’t move in the right direction…
a REALLY cohsive stanza. ties a lot together

Cause he’s a wallflower, petals on the floor,
A full size cutout plastered on the wall,
When he could be so much more.
Yes he’s a Wallflower, growing to the side.
Should have been watered with some social skills,
But He knows they’ve been denied.


We have all felt the same before,
When we’ve been afraid to walk through the door,
But if won’t go out and become exposed,
typo?
Then I must assure you that that door is closed
its odd to use 'I' when the subjects of the poem throughout have been 'he' and 'she'

And then you’ll sit there, all you’re wanting is in,
`cause you know that the party is about to begin,
And yet you’ll sit there, fail to join in the fun,
Though you know that the party has already begun…
needs reworking

Cause you’re a wallflower, petals on the floor,
Full size cutout plastered on the wall,
When you could be so much more.
Yes you’re a wallflower, growing to the side.
Should have been watered with some social skills,
But you know they’ve been denied,
Yes you know they’ve been denied.



honestly, i can see this becoming a really fantastic song with a little reworking and the right instrumentation. nice job man!

c4c?

Speakeasy:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=875357

Will to Live:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=874415

either is fine mate
~b