#1
For those not in the know, Ballentine's Finest is scotch.
_______________________________________________

If broken hearts bleed interest then broken bottles lead to blame
And I don't hate the way we did this, just how we behaved the same
The two bottles that stand side by side like soldiers on the table
Force a calm among the survivors not littered on the floor
Given a choice of failing or falling, the only thing closed is the door

While it's fermented in barrels it might as well have been trenches
These people primed for combat with bottles and glasses, not guns and ditches
The first guess is always the best, intentions change but perceptions breed
Like safety leads to that one mistake, that you promised yourself you wouldn't make
And yet these wasted men, drunk on **** that breeds in their mouth
Are still twice as happy as the man on the bed with a drink in his hand, a lump in his doubt

Well the shots that rained down throats held more sugar than lead
But still killed with such ferocity that the men were dead standing up
Or maybe walking a step while watching ferocious minds take jealousy further,
Realizing that next drinks on them, and they can't do a thing
September holds this months second round, prepare to go again...

When asked in questions about battles past, stand your ground, remember
The last words whispered are, "Ballentine's Finest killed this crowd"
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
Last edited by Auals at Sep 16, 2007,
#2
It's good and it's interesting, it's nice to see you writing poetry. It's a lot more descriptive than some of your other pieces.

Oh, and scotch is 40% alchohol Matthew .
Can't say I was never wrong
But some blame rests on you


Work and play they're never okay
To mix the way we do
#3
If broken hearts bleed interest then broken bottles lead to blame
And I don't hate the way we did this, just how we behaved the same
The two bottles that stand side by side like soldiers on the table
Force a calm among the survivors not littered on the floor
Given a choice of failing or falling, the only thing closed is the door

this was really good, the only problem i have is the end of the second line, i think the flow works better if it just ends, "just how we behaved" other than that it was good

While it's fermented in barrels it might as well have been trenches
These people primed for combat with bottles and glasses, not guns and ditches
The first guess is always the best, intentions change but perceptions breed
Like safety leads to that one mistake, that you promised yourself you wouldn't make
And yet these wasted men, drunk on **** that breeds in their mouth
Are still twice as happy as the man on the bed with a drink in his hand, a lump in his doubt

nothing wrong that i see here

Well the shots that rained down throats held more sugar than lead
But still killed with such ferocity that the men were dead standing up
Or maybe walking a step while watching ferocious minds take jealousy further,
Realizing that next drinks on them, and they can't do a thing
September holds this months second round, prepare to go again...

not much flow here, but still good

When asked in questions about battles past, stand your ground, remember
The last words whispered are, "Ballentine's Finest killed this crowd"

this was a really good ending.

overall: it was good, minor things. Some stanzas had no flow but still pretty good. Nice job


crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=673277