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#1
as per usual, fapping away in front of the computer. i was about to blow my load when the door bell rang. Now this is where it gets ****ed up. My dog was racing towards the door as there was someone there. I was a bit startled by all this and hence ****ed up the whole tissue load save thing. My dog ran right in front of me as I blew my load. It happened to be my nan at the door letting herself in.


so basically, my load ended up all over the dogs fucking face.

now my whole family thinks i was getting the dog to blow me off


what do i do?? how the hell do i explain that one???
#4
If it's really that serious, just be honest and tell them what happened.

Also,
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#7
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#10
uh not post about it here? dont be such a sick mutha phucker and you wouldnt have to deal with this problem.
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#11
wow... i have no idea. just wow. i feel bad for the dog though.
The internet kicks my ass on a regular basis.
#19
just say it molested you, duh
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#20
I nominate this for the best thread title ever.
WHITE STRIPES

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I look at boobs and bums and stuff I get really horny and stuff.


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#21
you dumbass

just tell the truth
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You calling your parents assholes because they wouldn't buy you a phone with a camera? Maybe you deserve to have picks on your nips.
#24
i call BS
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I, for one, am far more interested in trying to suck my own dick.

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I can do it. I'm pretty flexible. I've done it once, it was pretty weird. When I came my stomach muscles felt like exploding so yeah... never doing that again.


#27
How the **** would you get a dog to blow you? Don't you think the sharp pointy teeth would be incentive enough not to do it?
I'm a stupid jackass.
#28
Quote by Superpartydude5
Tell the truth? Fapping it to pr0n like a normal guy is a lot better than getting your dog to blow you...


Yeah i think so but i don't think anyone would believe me

maybe i can say i was cooking something and the dog got to some flour and water maybe??

i dunno.. any other ideas?
#29
Quote by yawn
Erm...Eric Kartman and Butters, anyone?


Right. Just get the dog to cum in your face and you'll be fine.
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#30
Aaaaaaaahahahahahaha
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#31
ive heard this tale b4, granted it was a little different, but all the elements are still here.

i call BS on this. but i like the thread title. very provocative
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#32
Just simply tell them what happened.
You were jerking it in your computer chair when they came home and interrupted you which made the dog get between you and the keyboard in the exact moment when your load blew out which hit him in the face, and then the dog then proceeded to greet you at the door., covered in your love.
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#33
Quote by teegman
as per usual, fapping away in front of the computer. i was about to blow my load when the door bell rang. Now this is where it gets ****ed up. My dog was racing towards the door as there was someone there. I was a bit startled by all this and hence ****ed up the whole tissue load save thing. My dog ran right in front of me as I blew my load. It happened to be my nan at the door letting herself in.


so basically, my load ended up all over the dogs fucking face.

now my whole family thinks i was getting the dog to blow me off


what do i do?? how the hell do i explain that one???
Tell them that the dog rapped you. And being a guy...you tried to make the best of it by pretending the dog was Jessica Alba.
#34
Don't lie, you were getting the dog to blow you, weren't you?
*-)
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#35
What's with all the praise for the thread title? It's been done many a time before, and it's typical 14 year old 'look at me' stuff.

You should all be ashamed.
#36
Just say you were cooking something and you spilled something on your dog. If that fails, say the dog owned you a favour.
It's gonna be a blue day
#37
Quote by morgan_a7x
Just simply tell them what happened.
You were jerking it in your computer chair when they came home and interrupted you which made the dog get between you and the keyboard in the exact moment when your load blew out which hit him in the face, and then the dog then proceeded to greet you at the door., covered in your love.


You almost made me choke on my chocolate milk from laughing
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#38
Quote by Alix_D
What's with all the praise for the thread title? It's been done many a time before, and it's typical 14 year old 'look at me' stuff.

You should all be ashamed.

meh, it hit the spot right now. its sunday evening where i am, and ive been working way too hard on my homework. seeing "so i was jerkin' off" just made my hour
Quote by Dimebag22
This might just be the smartest guy in The Pit. I didn't believe Ethan when he told me there were smart people in The Pit But I was wrong.

yeah, thats me

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#40
well you should have just killed your dog and said that you are psycho. that way it looks like you killed your dog and then came on it because you ae sick in the head. when really you did, so it wouldn't just look like it. just tell your family that you love them and you want to wear their skin. it'll all be well in the end
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