#1
<New song, haven't worked out music for it yet, here goes>

The Clocktower

Ascension, the stairs fall away
Keeper of time, order and life
The world holds it's breath
No savior comes calling, freeing the mortals
No one to die for the sins of fools
Wandering groups of lonely souls
The sky clouds over, the sun retreats
Climbing now, to dark to see

Inside the mighty tower, a stranger turns the gears
Time ticks away, counting the minutes, the days, the years
But will he manage to maintain the pace
Or will the shades of time take his place

The clock strikes 12 and the end begins
The horsemen decree
Pestilence, War, Famine and Death
But a light shines on, through destruction and disease
The nameless form of the master of time
A mass of bricks, howling at the sky
Sudden thunder severs the line
Lightning flashes and the mortals cry

Inside the mighty tower, a madman pulls the strings
Time continues on, as the innocent softly sings
A rose on the floor betrays a softer side
Since the fall of time, even the gods have died
Quote by Ninjake
... isn't mung like, a bean?
#2
Its epic... I like this so much I'll give a full crit later...

what genre is it exactly???
Promises meant a lot back then.
#4
Yeah, it's sort of progressive power/thrash metal. I'm currently uploading a song of ours, but it's way thrashier than what this will be. It'll give you a taste I guess.
Quote by Ninjake
... isn't mung like, a bean?
#5
Quote by Set-Abominae
<New song, haven't worked out music for it yet, here goes>

The Clocktower

Ascension, the stairs fall away
Keeper of time, order and life
The world holds it's breath
No savior comes calling, freeing the mortals
No one to die for the sins of fools
Wandering groups of lonely souls
The sky clouds over, the sun retreats
Climbing now, to dark to see

Like it but would add *for you* to end of 3rd line, after the 3rd line it's amazing and I love the imagery in sun retreats.

Inside the mighty tower, a stranger turns the gears
Time ticks away, counting the minutes, the days, the years
But will he manage to maintain the pace
Or will the shades of time take his place

Love it, but IMO the third line seems weak.
Something like,
*But can he maintain this grueling pace*
seems to fit the mood better, but just my opinion


The clock strikes 12 and the end begins
The horsemen decree
Pestilence, War, Famine and Death
But a light shines on, through destruction and disease
The nameless form of the master of time
A mass of bricks, howling at the sky
Sudden thunder severs the line
Lightning flashes and the mortals cry

This verse is amazing, nothing wrong with it and it's just awesome.

Inside the mighty tower, a madman pulls the strings
Time continues on, as the innocent softly sings
A rose on the floor betrays a softer side
Since the fall of time, even the gods have died

First 2 lines are good, 3rd+4th doesn't seem to fit at all; explain?


Really like it, solid work.
8.5/10
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
-Frank Zappa
#6
Thanks for the crit dude. And about that rose on the floor thing, I really can't explain lol. I just sorta... wrote what came to mind. Also, thank's for the suggestions as well. I'll work with them.
Quote by Ninjake
... isn't mung like, a bean?