#1
tell me what you think, i'll return the critique.


If I haven’t already lost you
You’ll soon be gone
I’ve just been here waiting
From dusk to dawn

The things you said
Kept me from beating myself down
Life is so much easier
With friends all around

This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long

I can hear your laugh anytime
But I need to see your smile
Something it does to me
That lights me up inside

This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long

Talk to me until its light outside
We can waste all this time together
I can’t think of
anything better

This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long
#2
If I haven’t already lost you
You’ll soon be gone
I’ve just been here waiting
From dusk to dawn

No problems here, pretty good verse in my opinion.


The things you said
Kept me from beating myself down
Life is so much easier
With friends all around

Eh, this would be a nice verse also, but i would consider changing up that second line, the sylablle count sort of throughs off the verse.


This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long


I can hear your laugh anytime
But I need to see your smile
Something it does to me
That lights me up inside

I dont know why, I just don't really like this verse, but that is just an opinion

This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long

Is this the chorus, I see that it was repeated in the song, i like this, but in my opiniion it would serve better maybe as a verse. I don't know about the second to last line, the use of getting a little blurry bothers me for some reason


Talk to me until its light outside
We can waste all this time together
I can’t think of
anything better

I like this verse, but if it were me personally writing this i would say make the last line anything better to do, I'm not sure why, just one example of my wierd writing style.


This picture of you
That my mind has drawn
Is getting a little blurry
I haven’t seen you in so long


check this out if you'd like: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=674172