#1
this is my first post but if i feel the critique and comments actually help ill post more thanks


Your innocence, it fuels me
It Keeps me holding on
Your heart and mind are what rule me
Keep showing me I'm wrong
My limbs grow weary, heavy
As I lie here in the dark
I lie here and I wonder
How did this ever start...

All alone I wonder
I wonder where you are
How did I ever lose you
My vision turns to tar
My heart and mind where racing
But now I'm slowing down
All my world has seem to be
Buried underground

Everything you've said to me
Everything you've done
It only takes me further down
It seems I'm the only one
I can't tell what's right or wrong
Only what I want
This is what's inside of me
This is all my fault

All this time I've been changing
All is for the worst
But everytime I close my eyes
All I see is her
Her heart and mind are what rule me
Keep showing me I'm strong
With all these feelings inside of me
How could this go so wrong

Everything you've said to me
Everything you've done
It only takes me further down
It seems I'm the only one
I can't tell what's right or wrong
Only what I want
This is what's inside of me
This is all my fault
#2
I like it. just some tips:

"My heart and mind where racing" - is it supposed to read 'were'?

"All my world has seem to be
Buried underground" - these lines dont make sense. I know lyrics dont need to but the rest of the lyrics make sense... how about:
"All my world i see to be
Buried underground"

and I dont know at all where you got your ideas from but maybe I think the song would be more effective/flowing if you end with 'this is all your fault'. cus it seems the whole song you blame her. i dunno. just my opinion!

oh yeah. and the whole song you refer to 'her' as 'You'. except in these lines:
But everytime I close my eyes
All I see is her
Her heart and mind are what rule me
Keep showing me I'm strong

so maybe you should think of changing the 'her's to 'you's 'You' is a stronger, more direct word anyway and involves the listener in the song. her sounds unrelated to someone listening to the song.

hope this crit helps!
XD