i turned twenty years old today...but i don't feel any different....not surprising tho....how about some birthday stories..any one...i got a good one....

i think it was my tenth birthday...we were at a festival in town and this lady had a pet monkey with her on her shoulder...it was licking a sucker and i was looking at it and everyone told me to not get so close and when i turned around the monkey punched me in the eye...and left a mark...a claw mark..everyone laughed uncontrollably...now that i look back at it it was pretty funny...
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Psh...n00bs..i'm doing it as i type...actually, i'm typing with my penis while wanking.

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it's my birthday too.
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You're Thurstonsexual

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The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

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happy birthday dude! go get yourself another drink and pretend it's from me.
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Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

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Happy B-day i got you some fingers that can eat people

Fender Strat
Alexi Laiho ESP

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one time i masturbated into a pumpkins. needless to say

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Happy B-day i got you some fingers that can eat people

wtf ?!