Wish (For Meggin…why suicide?)

Standing under the tree with rain running from the leaves
Sparkling in the streetlight outside your house
With the rum still warm inside of me I stare at your memory
And wonder why you chose this way out

Funny the things we used to do and how just recently I thought of you
Recalling the better days of my past
In front of the school we used to stand I was happy just to hold your hand
With no thought of the future or weather we would last

Two years ago I saw you with your mother and your sister
And standing in that restaurant I realized how much I had missed you
Though we were no longer in love I loved seeing you all the same
I also saw how scared you were of life and love and change

I wish you had not gone down that road,
I wish you had not left everyone who loved you all alone
I wish you could have waited one more day but I know
I wish you had not gone down that road

In this life it seems we are never given enough time
To sort through all the misery and see it come out fine
I’ve seen close friends battle illness doctors can diagnose
But it’s the one they couldn’t see that was hurting you the most

No pill to take away your pain no words for you to use
The nightmare of losing children you never thought you’d lose
Did you blame yourself feeling there was no one else to blame
Could you not accept this as a part of life you had no power to change?

I pray you see your children when the Angels take you in
I pray the pain inside you will never hurt again
Now that you have Heavens view pray for me as I do for you
And ask God to watch over our family and friends

I wrote this a year ago after a friend killed herself. She was a very sweet girl but I never knew how sad she was inside. I wish I would have known.

F.C. September 20, 2007