#1
Give me some good comebacks


No search button related ones please

DESPERATE TIMES


Chav confusage must happen
#2
You mum is fat. And you are an accident.



Quote by KileManA7X
I remember my first erection. I went to my dad and was like "Do I have Aids???". I seriously thought there was something wrong with me.



#3
You're a shoebag.
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#4
Remember when you had something insightful and worthwhile to say?

Neither does anyone else.
Basses
Ibanez Gio GSR100 w/ SDs

Amps
Acoustic B200
#6
Your mom's face looks like the wrong end of an asses ass.

That'll confuse em
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#7
I typically like to start by assuming that you can't zip your pants without snagging your own sack, but I simply refuse to believe that you even posses the ability with which to dress yourself. It's actually a mystery to me that you continue to draw breath without the aid of some medical gadgetry.
#10
Jesus Christ


This guy just said


"I'm not racist, I just don't like pakis"


#12
Led Zeppelin.
Our hearts are with Nick Grundy.
Quote by Ez0ph
I think AvengedThrice is pretty cool guy, eh raeps kittens to death and doesn't afraid of anything.

He knows me well..
#14
Me and my friends were getting high at my friends house the other day and Street Wars came on T.V, there was this black fellar from London being taken to the police station shouting at teh camera team "Yo moma got athletes foot, mate!" the funny thing was he kept on saying it as if it was a good insult - say that they won't understand it and you can laugh at them.
Gear:

Squire Fat Stratocaster (Gotoh Pickups)
Marshall 50 DFX amplifier
Marshall Guv'nor II Distortion Pedal
Jim Dunlop Standard Cry Baby
Vintage VS6
#18
Quote by Antroid
Me and my friends were getting high at my friends house the other day and Street Wars came on T.V, there was this black fellar from London being taken to the police station shouting at teh camera team "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared!" the funny thing was he kept on saying it as if it was a good insult - say that they won't understand it and you can laugh at them.

Fixed?
#19
if you weren't gay u would be straight.
and anything starting with 'me and my freinds were getting high' isnt going to be a funny story.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#20
your adopted your parents dont love you
gear

Fender Standard Tele (with kill-switch)
PRS SE Custom
Fender Hot Rod Deville
Boss DD-3 Delay
Boss GE-7 Eq
Boss DS-1 distortion
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff
Boss CS-3 Compression
Digitech Whammy
Dunlop ZW-45 Zakk Wylde Signature wah
#21
"Just tell him to get the dick out of his mouth, since he is mumbaling."
Quote by Shattuck
I need some music that makes you envision a dark room illuminated by only candles and perhaps a creepy middle aged man in a bathrobe.


Quote by Skullbolt
Rape: Is it in you?
#22
"Okaasan wa baka dayo! Yes, you did just get owned in Japanese!"

"Tu Madre!"

Etc.
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#23
Take some stuff from Phoenix Nights.

100 million sperm and you were the fastest?

I once told someone to kill themselves, and went on to explain that the only person to miss them would be his f***buddy of a mother. I also volunteered to step in to fill his boots after he'd gone.
#24
Best insult I've heard in ages is from the John Cooper Clarke poem, 'Twat'.

"I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive"

I also like "Speaking as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"
Zeppelinism Extremist, PM TheHeartbreaker to join


...and the victim screameth, saying "Hast thou not heard of elastoplast?!"
#25
Quote by Keyphur
the jerk store called...

Quote by CowsWithGuns
And the facade of heterosexualism in the punk and ska forum came crashing down like a fat girl falling off a balcony...
#26
Well at least I know who my biological father is.

I've used that one before, I ran away straight afterwards.
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#27
''If I wanted my comeback I would've scraped it off your moms teeth''

I heard that on UG a while ago
#29
"Your father smelt of elderberries."
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#32
if i had 10 dicks, i wouldn't waste even one of them by F#####G your mom...

i heard this from a turkish guy in my college..
#34
Jog on
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#35
"Yeah, your Mum makes gravy for leopards, innit?"

E-secks for anyone who gets the reference.
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#36
you - "how much do you weigh?"

him - "answers"

you - "that's a whole lot of ugly"

not the best insult but i said to my friend the other day and it was well funny (he's easy to wind up)
#37
"I'll bet coat hangers bring up some bad memories."
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!