#1
this is a song. its meant as a simple, easy, three minute pop song. i dont know how much it worked. it was on the spot. but i will probably revise it. so crits would be swell, to give help on what to change.

so i waited and hung on every tock tick
and tick tock and now things will click.
over hills and over seas we'll move and meet
where only the rain will fall down our cheeks.

so for these few months i'll let it slide.
i'll let time stomp his heavy boots
and march to his hard heart step.
i'll hear only heartbeats.

and i know that soon i'll pull not push
and i know that soon even rain won't be able
to wash away these sea-salt trails,
and with a longing hand i'll brush your cheek.

but for these few months i'll let it slide.
i'll let time stomp his heavy boots
and march to his hard heart step.
i'll hear nothing but heartbeats.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.
#3
overall i like it
but this could be great if it had more images and details.
the cold, the noise i need it so...
#4
Quote by downontheupside
you started with rhymes in the first section then it stopped


i know. i didnt intend to have a regular rhyme scheme. but the rhymes felt right there.
my name is matt. you can call me that if you like.