#1
Acoustic Song

V1
Everything I wrote you on a piece of paper.
Doesn’t fit in minor key
All those words were caging emotions.
My voice just set them free


Chorus
22 frets in 132 blocks
Are screaming and yelling what it is all about
22 frets in 132 blocks
Only to show you that I’ve figured it out
What in my life I do not miss

V2
Every time I need to find an inspiration
I think of how you treated me.
All the thoughts that strike my mind
I write them down and add some rhymes
Only to sing, what I used to feel

Chorus

Bridge
I burned your pictures to create a cloud
Only to wash away my doubts
Just because, this is not minor key
I am happy and I am feeling free

Chorus


6 strings and 22 frets
Leave the link in case u leave some comments and in case u have a better title feel free to tell me. I am not sure on last 2 lines of bridge but they work fine with music.
It's written to music by the way
Hi
Last edited by abhishek21 at Sep 21, 2007,
#3
Quote by Ryan lloyd
hmmm, interesting


In a good way or bad way??????
Hi
Last edited by abhishek21 at Sep 21, 2007,
#4
original.

but i didnt like it to much.

it had some flow issues, and the rhyme scheme fell short in some spots.
#5
I actually quite like this....although as Smooth said there are some issues with the flow, i think these could be improved fairly easily and this could become a great song....i don't agree with smooth about the rhyming scheme, i think it is very good and where it falls short does not matter because too much rhyming sounds forced anyways, nice job ...can you crit my latest?- https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=676545

Cheers,

Dan
BECOME A FAN!

DISCO IS DEAD!

Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!