#1
Here is a thing i just wrote. You may recognise the solo from something i wrote the other day, but it didnt fit with the style of writing im going for so i replaced all the riffs completely although its the same song structurally. and i kept the solo, i might make it twice as long tho and get some sweeps in there, ill see what you all think. The vocals are marked where theyll go.

well anyways here it is...

C4C



Edit: Updated with another riff and a swapping of a few riffs and redone first part of the solo.

Edit: Alot of restructuring and riff adding and variations
Attachments:
Humanitys Failure.zip
Last edited by ch715dallat at Sep 24, 2007,
#2
Riff 1 Kicks ass
Riff 2 kicks slightly less, but kicks it nonetheless
Riff 3 kicks ass

Y'know what, it all kicks ass, I'd love to see the lyrics/hear the vocal melodies, you got any? If not, I might give it a go at writing some if I get the chance for fun

Awesome stuff man


Not so keen on the end though...seems completely out of place to me, not sure why though, just sounded awkward
#3
I loved the entire thing. My favorite riff was the one right before the solo. I was headbanging the entire time. I think this might be your best DM piece so far. My only suggestion is change that last chord to an 1st fret power chord. I changed it and it sounded right, but the 0 chord is off.

Mind giving my new one a look? I went in a totally different direction with this one. It's funk-rock. new song
#4
Quote by tushmeister
Riff 1 Kicks ass
Riff 2 kicks slightly less, but kicks it nonetheless
Riff 3 kicks ass

Y'know what, it all kicks ass, I'd love to see the lyrics/hear the vocal melodies, you got any? If not, I might give it a go at writing some if I get the chance for fun

Awesome stuff man


Not so keen on the end though...seems completely out of place to me, not sure why though, just sounded awkward


Thanks alot man, i have the vocals for main riff planned, but none of the rest. theyre gonna be Necrophagist/Nile style growling if i can pull it off. but ill just have to see. The ending sounds off probably because it was from the last version of the song and i didnt change it but i will now seeing as it isnt sitting to well lol.

and to the other guy, yeah, riff3 would be my favourite out of them but i couldnt really just use it more cos it wouldnt go anywhere i suppose.

Edit: no actually i mean the Vocals 2 riff is my favourite, the one before the solo.

Last edited by ch715dallat at Sep 21, 2007,
#5
good stuff i like your solos, uh nice riffs , i think you should of made more riffs as to not over play some of the riffs though though perhaps with vocals that effect will fade, -shrugs- take a look at my tab if you can -its PT >.<- 'ballad of fallen angels' should still be on the front page, lol
#6
dude i love all your songs, but this ones killer man.
i've been listening to necrophagist non stop recently to and it had that kinda feel to it
all the riffs were pure awsome, and the solos made my mouth water, not a word of a lie.
#7
Woah, Thanks man, i just need to work on the drumming and the solo a bit more and maybe add some harmonies into the riffs then im good to record by the looks of it

#8
Perfect. If you released an album with songs in that vein, i will definately buy it. No lie, it sounded great.

A suggestion, riff 2- play it 2 times, not 4 times. Dont ask me why, it just feels a lot better. 4 times drags it a bit. When putting stuff together, think of it like this.. think of yourself playing it live, in front of a big crazy crowd. *Then* see if it feels right, does it make you/the crowd bang your head violently?

Similarly, those riffs may not sound very powerful in guitar pro, but its a whole different thing with real instruments. Just listen to any necrophagist song that gets you going, then listen to a guitar pro version. I say again, its perfect.
#9
Thanks alot man, i just changed the solo again and the rhythm behind it and stuff.

im gonna keep riff2 X4 cos i plan to have vocals on the second 2 repeats of it but yeah thanks alot.



the rest of the songs ive written this week arent like this tho, theyre more decapitated style rather than tech style
#11
yeah, im still not happy with the solo tho but ill get it right eventually. and yeah more riffs but i doubt ill be able to play these and do vox at the same time lol. but hey thats why recoring is good
#12
Riff 1 is sick. sounded very evil. Riff 2 and vocals 1 were good also. The only thing I would suggest is turning down the repeats on some parts, or add in some variations. Plus once it gets to like riff 3, I'm kinda like, didn't I just hear this? Even though I know it's not the same, and it still sounds great, it just sounds too much like riff 1. Try to throw in some variations on the notes there, like making it really fast with some 16th notes, or having it go kinda weird with quarter note triplets, just to keep things interesting.

Break was alright. Try to use some more odd chords like in bar 42 though. That one sounded awesome. Vocals 2 was pretty sweet though. good technical riffage there.

The solo started out amazing and just kinda went downhill to mediocre at bar 59. I really liked the chord progression you had for the first four bars of the solo. Try repeating that and switching up some licks for the next four bars maybe. Solo 2 was good until bar 67. Once it got there it sounded like you were trying to create kind of a dissonant, evil melody, but it just sounded kind of dumb tbh. The rest of the song was good though. I liked the outro as well.

I can't believe you wrote this man. I remember the first song I heard from you was like that crappy metallica-esque one, and I told you it sucked, and now you're writing crap like this haha. I noticed that there's another metal contest going on, but I'm not getting involved b/c I have no recording gear, and it takes hours for me to get songs off myspace for judging lol. Anyways, I just thought I'd try to help you out so you'll kill teh comp
#13
thanks man, ill try work on the solo tomorrow, but i knew what you meant about the riffs getting a bit samey after a while and i knew i needed a slower riff in there so i got rid of riff3 i think it was and swapped in a different riff which is easy to do vocals over as its simpler so ive changed where the vocals will be going.



ill try record this tomorrow if i can and get some vocals down when ive got some lyrics written which shouldnt be too hard as ive got the ideas for them.

Edit: that sucks, when you gonna get some gear, you should get a tone port, you got plenty of songs id love to hear recorded get sorted for the next comp.
#15
its a little recording interface and its dead cheap and piss easy to use. search it on google and trust me, get it and youll be able to record like a mofo
#18
I think I kinda heard to much like it - but it's quite kickass anyways xD. But like someone else already said, dont overuse the riffs to much.
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#19
drum programming was great
Nicks and dents are battle scars...they give a guitar history.


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#22
It was actually really good. But the riffs do have a slight similar sound to each to the point that it gets a little repetitive. The riff that really stood out to me was the PreSoloRiff . The first solo started off great and, like zakatak9389 said, kinda went downhill. I actually liked Solo 2 but i felt that it sounded a little off right after the first solo. Over all I actually liked it. I cant wait to hear it with vocs.

Would you mind checking mine out? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=682950
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