#1
BINARY

Out where the heat grows
Come and take our breath
But leave our clothes
becuase its cold in the spaces between
that separate every place we've been

so breath like two stars binary
spinning in a hurry around one point
gravity keeps us moving
our orbits improving singularily

and if i wasnt bright, would you shine for me?
or would you call across that empty space
there's no air, there's no sound out there
so call it loud

Now explode, midnight supernova
like no one before you, so wide you've grown
and right in the middle, you left a black hole
so i feel your pull

now breathe like two stars binary
spinning in a hurry around one point
gravity keeps us moving
our orbits improving singularily

and if i wasn't bright, would you shine for me?
or call across that empty space
there's no air, theres no sound out there
so call it loud
#2
I couldn't quite decypher the rhyme scheme at the beginning. It seems kinda awkward. The basic structor however is simply okay. I did notice a few cliche rhymes but thats okay by me. You're very descriptive and I definitley got what this piece was about.

Crit?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=677854