#1
It's not finished yet, I'm guna add another verse, and a bridge, possibly even a prechorus or somthing...

crit for crit as always


Yeh she's the girl,
of my dreams.
But I'll never have her,
yeh, that's how it seems.
I want her so badly
The feelings aren't returned
I've fallen for her,
but she's realy not concerned.


I could tell her how I feel,
once again.
But I know she'll say
"I just want to be friends."
And it kinda makes me sick
inside.
That all I have to say,
Is that I tried.


But she's the perfect
girl for me.
With her knock out looks
and that personality!
There's pretty much nothing
I wouldn't do.
To call her mine,
yeh, she knows it's true.


I could tell her how I feel,
once again.
But I know she'll say
"I just want to be friends"
And it kinda makes me sick
inside.
That all I have to say,
Is that I tried.

We have so much in common.
But she's to good for me.
I wish she'd give me a chance,
maybe then she'd see.
she'd see what i've seen
all of this time.
Mabey then she'd let me call her mine.
Last edited by HLrocker at Sep 23, 2007,
#2
i like it...what style is it?
Everyone is entitled to my opinion

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#3
uncatergoorically, awesome
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In-depth common sense, at your service.


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#4
I think both of you for likeing it ...and I geuse it could be called kind of a slow punk/rock song
#5
Quote by HLrocker
I think both of you for likeing it ...and I geuse it could be called kind of a slow punk/rock song


thoert so, not my styel but when youve experienced sumfin like it you cant help but like it
Quote by Atomic48
Nothing's impossible if you have the proper artillery.


Quote by Prole
In-depth common sense, at your service.


I Witnessed The Glory Of GORHL!

"It all shall fall, by the grace of the people." - ZDLR in Producer.
#6

thoert so, not my styel but when youve experienced sumfin like it you cant help but like it


Why would you ever want positive criticism from someone who spells like that? Anyway, the song is completely, and I mean completely, boring. There's nothing in there that wouldn't take an eighth grader five minutes to write. Yeah yeah, she's the girl of your dreams but she doesn't want you, whatever. **** happens. So what? Don't think that I'm telling you I don't care. I'm telling you that you haven't made us care. So really get down to the depths of it and really get artistic, cause this is just crap.

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#7
i like it alot
i took ur advice on mine go c what u think
its Russian Roulette
Every hour on the hour..they drew blood