#1
I think I like this one a lot...Not too sure yet though. Crit my ass.

Spoke away the days,
Smoked away the nights,
Aw it's just a phase,
But it's only out of sight,
Out of mind, out of grasp, out of key,

Stole the food right from my hand,
Cause I could never really stand,
To say "Ah don't do that,
You're already pretty fat",
But there's a crime, oh what a crime, what crime?
Well go and solve it,
I'm still unsolved, nothing ever was resolved

And it's a waste of time again,
You go pretend, that it's important to the end,
Leads to the end, and back again,
When the sorry old bastards make no difference,
They'll make a difference up, and just keep ****ing it up,
And my king never fought, no he, never thought,
Of my talented friends, though they're somewhat off the end,
And they'll offend until they die, all cracked and broken in my eyes,
Oh it's beyond me, how I never really see,
Reflected there, it's quite a small affair,
But it's a newer kind of prey, the kind I'd love to hate,
And I've talked and walked and balked at him all of my life,
Cause of my strife,

He'll just fly out of view,
Before I look into his eyes, staring back at me,
And I can only cry, he's a vicious love is mine,
And I'm too vain, might as well keep thinking I've got the world to blame,
It's all the same, Always the same, Never the same
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
#2
On your crit for my song, Dream of Life, the 'first verse' is actually the chorus. Lol.
Hmm, as for this song.
I read it through very briefly once, and enjoyed the flow but couldn't understand the exact message. I read it again and I think I know now.
I guess the only real problem is that there seems to be lots of smaller messages, as opposed to one underlying theme. That's the impression at first glance.
The lack of clarity of the theme is probably due to the sort of backtracking lyrics. They're nice from a musical point of view, but they aren't easily accessible to the average listener. That's my two cents.