#1
What up? This is pretty much my first post and i wanna known what you people think about my lyrics. This song i wrote about two years ago but i really like it so i had to post it.

Lacuna:
"Languishing lapdog/langurous laptop
he´s just an air-supplier/ grey multiplier
the word useless
Mystical madness/mythical mistress
integrity worn off/psyche starts to cough
waiting for nothing

Reflect this passion away/so the soul can stray/leave it today.

Humility hunt/hibernation haunts
penitence grows endless/flourishing on the surface
not a sculptured pilgrim
Comatose colony/compelling community
fishbone in denial/goblet for the child
intoxicate it please!


Reflect this passion away/so the soul can stray/leave it today.

Sugar-coated armor, it´s raining down/
this armor summons problems in to the town/
postmortem examination/
increase the false ration."
#3
Very interesting word choices and metaphors. It gets it's point/feeling across quite effectively. The only problem i have is some of the imagery, such as "Intoxicate it please!". it's cool, but I'm not sure what you're trying to say with it...I apoligize if it's a translational mistake .

Overall, very good, keep it up!
Quote by SSDDPunkRocker

Shock value is always good, as long as it's not like "Toddler Slaughterhouse" or "I Choked The Prom Queen's Blind Grandma" or whatever.
#4
Thanks man. It´s hard to get replies to lyrics and pretty much everything else around here. And i realized that the part should be like this "intoxicate him please!"