#1
This is a song I wrote about me and my gf when we were going through harder times and it's about the fact that when one of us was happy the other was having a ****ty day.

Ups And Downs


Verse 1:-

It’s what you might call a strange and funny thing, wondering and wondering what mood tomorrow will bring. Cause me and you babe we’re complete opposites in our minds and that’s a fact, fortunately for us we both know that opposites attract.

Verse2:-

I’l have an amazing day it’ll be great and I’l be feeling fine, meanwhile you’ll be hurting and upset and about to lose your mind. At the end of that day I’ll give you a call, and I’d find out when I took a step that you took a fall.

Chorus:-

Time they say it just wastes and crumbles away, and when you feel happy I’l be having a rainy day. Love, they say that it can never die, I believe that but it seems we’ll never be content at the same time. It’s the force that’s everywhere and follows us all around, I guess that life just has it’s ups and downs.

Verse3:-

I meant what I said when I said I’d never lie, but I’m telling you I’m happy on the days I’d rather die. Only one thing stops me buying some rope or a gun, of everyone in the world here, I care for only one.

Bridge:-

I’m back on track with my life again, I finally feel like I’m not about to lose. But you’re back in the pit of despair again, but who gets to choose.

Chorus:-

Time they say it just wastes and crumbles away, and when you feel happy I’l be having a rainy day. Love, they say that it can never die, I believe that but it seems we’ll never be content at the same time. It’s the force that’s everywhere and follows us all around, I guess that life just has it’s ups and downs.
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Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!
#2
This Song has a great flow, it just goes together great. it doesnt seem like you forced any rhymes or anything which as a hard thing to do in writing songs, especially in songs about girls. another thing you did that i like is it wasnt cliche one bit which is another big thing people have a problem with when writing a song bout somebody. i really do like it...its got a great flow man
#3
i agree with zeppelin freak. it does go together great. it seems like you didn't think about any of the words. they just seem natural.

Its original as well, because i can't think of a song about this subject.

Could you crit my lyrics please. The song is called "On This Road". The link is below:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=680490

Cheers

Neil
UG's Stock Market Guy

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Dissident Blues
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We'll Make This Work
Stop This Train