#1
the contraction in verse two is fine, don't mention it
c4c


girl on the street, not too much meat
so I looked twice - that's once, repeat
eyed her eyes up, kindest I've seen
spoke with a cheek, name's maureen
brunette in colour, highlights in blond
invite was offered - come on, respond
blurted a yes, lest I entered arrest
so back to mine, at nine, she said

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers

over coffee and tea, she learnt about me
same as I learnt about her, you see
none of the silence, instead there was laughter
neither of us hinted what we were after
a wife for the night, one for the morning
"husband'd good, if he gave me warning
I wouldn't turn him down if he asked me flatly
though he'd have to know his way around - exactly"

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
#5
Quote by Jammydude44


girl on the street, not too much meat
so I looked twice - that's once, repeat Hehe. Nice wordplay.
eyed her eyes up, kindest I've seen
spoke with a cheek, name's maureen
brunette in colour, highlights in blond
invite was offered - come on, respond
blurted a yes, lest I entered arrest
so back to mine, at nine, she said

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers

over coffee and tea, she learnt about me
same as I learnt about her, you see Last bit is desperate rhyming.
none of the silence, instead there was laughter Doesn't flow.
neither of us hinted at what we were after
a wife for the night, one for the morning
"husband'd good, if he gave me warning "Husband'd"?
I wouldn't turn him down if he asked me flatly
though he'd have to know his way around - exactly"

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers

I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers
I got a space on my arm, my arm, my arm
my arms for her, it was built for hers


This song is just one big bag of
Crit mine?
#7
Quote by we have sound

You're from Blandford?
I'm from Bournemouth.

Nice stuff


Top class mate

Nice to know there's more local talent around
#8
Oh wow, this is absolutely great!
Fantastic use of words! I loved "that's once, repeat" bit. Very clever.
I think Easty1 has the right idea with the crit though.
But it's absolutely top stuff! There are some great lyric writers on this site! =)
(And for some reason i'm hearing all the songs I'm reading in my head as hip-hop ones)
I made you a cookie but I eated it.
#10
Thanks James. Great to see you around. I too think this style suits me - I've moved off (finally) from my monkeys rip-offs and I think I'm hitting more originality in my songwriting now.

As for music, nada. Still just a kid who writes for the imagined band in his head.

Stick around, man