#1
Me and a friend got bored the other day and wrote this quick, i know its not quite good cause we wrote it pretty quick but before i edit it wanted to know if anybody had some ideas to improve it.


A question the world shall be
Where do we go when will we leave
Guess we wont know tell were six feet under
But what we do is know is


(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be


When were about to die do we see the light?
Do we stop breathin? Or do we put up a fight?
Is there hell or heaven or something in between?
Or do we just say one day we fade away


(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be


A question the world shall be
Where do we go when will we leave
Guess we wont know tell were six feet under
But what we do is know is

(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be
#2
Quote by zeppelin_freak0


A question the world shall be I'm not sure about this line. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but to me, it doesn't make sense!
Where do we go when will we leave
Guess we wont know tell were six feet undertell = 'til
But what we do is know is


(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be
I like the chorus, especially the last line

When were about to die do we see the light?
Do we stop breathin? Or do we put up a fight?
Is there hell or heaven or something in between?
Or do we just say one day we fade away
That's really good

(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be


A question the world shall be
Where do we go when will we leave
Guess we wont know tell were six feet under
But what we do is know is
If i was you, i would change this verse, and write something new.

(Chorus)
Everyday we fade away
We fade away
We fade away in this game we play we fade away
To some unknown land and unknown reason
We fade away in any season
I guess its just the way the man wanted it to be


I really like it. It doesn't need much doing to it.

Please could you crit my lyrics. The song is called On This Road. The link is below:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=680490

Cheers

Neil
UG's Stock Market Guy

Hablo Español
Wǒ néng shuō Zhōngwén

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My Recordings:

Dissident Blues
El Farol
Lenny
We'll Make This Work
Stop This Train
#3
it sounds good. the only thing is that u say fade away in the chorus like 10 times (well egateration) but over all its good.