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#1
I need help with some comebacks to use on my friends
cuz I'd think of a good one like 5 minutes later.

Good ones would be ones tht have no possible comeback for
#2
i know you are but what am i?


EDIT: or ofcourse if they say something about your mom and they dont know you that well say "My mom died in a fire two years ago you jackass!"
Quote by ShaunDiel
Listen to this man. His 2 ideas in five minutes have shat all over your serious ideas.
#3
damn same here, i always have a good comeback like 3 minutes later, but i dont want to look like a dumbass and say it all late
#6
"Sir/Mam, I hesitate to articulate for fear I might deviate form the true course of rectitude, in other words, I don't know Sir/Mam"

I made it up, and I use it every day =D
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#8
Just yell really loud "Get your hand out of my pants now!!!" No arsenal of comebacks can defend against rape allegations.
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#11
This makes me wanna watch that episode of Seinfeld where George thinks of a good comeback, hunts the guy down, and uses it.
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#12
Quote by iceman95
i know you are but what am i?


EDIT: or ofcourse if they say something about your mom and they dont know you that well say "My mom died in a fire two years ago you jackass!"

If I told you I ****ed your mom and you said that to me, I'd simply say I put her on ice first. Therefore, your comebacks suck.

I'd just tell someone they were so dumb, they belong in The Pit.
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#13
ok or i like using the ever so popular from Billy Madison "No I will not make out with you!"
Quote by ShaunDiel
Listen to this man. His 2 ideas in five minutes have shat all over your serious ideas.
#15
Start spittin rhymes. Nothing says comeback like a rap battle.
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#16
Pimp slap that ho! thats the ultimate comeback. heres an example
random guy: your momma is fat
you: what? ho what did the five fingers say to the face, SLAP BITCH!!!
random guy: boo hoo (runs away crying like a poon)
crowd of people: ddddaaaammmmnnn!!!
3 random hot girls: your a true gangsta lets have a foursome!
you: hellz ya!
Last edited by RedSox_o4 at Sep 27, 2007,
#17
Tell them " If I wanted any comeback from you I would tell you to spit" or " If I wanted any lip from you I would wiggle my zipper". Works in most situations.
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#18
if i wanted to hear an asshole i'd fart

my friend said that today, we all got into a comeback fight.
he won.
#19
If someone says nice comeback, say if I wanted my cum back I'd whipe it off your chin.
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#20
say "shut up you blowjob". like come on, what are they gonna say after that?
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#22
"That's what the doctors said when you were born."

It works for everything, even if it's not an insult directed at you.
#23
Quote by iceman95
ok or i like using the ever so popular from Billy Madison "No I will not make out with you!"

You gotta say it REALLY LOUD though.
#24
im listening to comeback kid........if that makes any sense........
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#26
Or you could go for the really annoying approach, and just ask, "Why?" after everything they say to you.
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#29
Stop being such ants at a picnic
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#30
retourne enculer les mouches
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#31
Quote by iceman95
ok or i like using the ever so popular from Billy Madison "No I will not make out with you!"



My friend yelled that at one of our teachers during lunch. Litterally. He screamed it. He got in a ton of trouble for it though, because somebody could have misinterpretted it for petophilia.

Then one of our other friends goes, "No I will not make out with you Mr.(insert name)." (In voice of male teacher) "Oh yes you will!"

What made it funnier is that 2 other female teachers were right behind him.
I've got a bike you can ride it if you like
#32
"that's what she said...."
say it after anything your friends say.
works everytime and makes any situation officially awkward
#33
This thread rules.

Quote by RedSox_o4
Pimp slap that ho! thats the ultimate comeback. heres an example
random guy: your momma is fat
you: what? ho what did the five fingers say to the face, SLAP BITCH!!!
random guy: boo hoo (runs away crying like a poon)
crowd of people: ddddaaaammmmnnn!!!
3 random hot girls: your a true gangsta lets have a foursome!
you: hellz ya!


#35
Use a really lame one, if you're lucky someone will say "Nice comeback, dork!" or similar rudeness.

Simply state: "If I wanted my come back, I would scrape it off of your mother's teeth."

That's ownage.
Jizz is where it is
#36
Quote by B3low3mpty
your mom.


damn beat me to it

my fav is

"yeah well in the end your still_____________ A. a bitch B. A jew C. A slut D. the kid with a hot mom Other: "
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#37
Quote by Capn
if i wanted to hear an asshole i'd fart

my friend said that today, we all got into a comeback fight.
he won.



heard it on SNL
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#38
Um my favorite ones are "I'm gonna take your firstborn" , "your adopted" , "your a retarted black jewish lesbian" , and "i hope you fall down a well". Or if I'm feeling uncreative i will just pretty much steal lines from that scene in 40 year old virgin where they have the 'you know how I know your gay' scene.
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