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#1
I don't care how good or how bad or how gross, share them right now.

My worst experience was a cliched one in some restroom in a Mobil gas station out on the road, basically the middle of nowhere Bakersfield. There was **** on the walls and on the mirror. I had to do the squat over the seat and pinch a loaf without sitting down.

True story.
#2
Quote by larry jones
I don't care how good or how bad or how gross
Well... If you say so.
I once had diarrhea and I didn't realize it until I stood up and there was still feces dripping from my anus.
#4
Uhm...ok...
Was in this night club, well, more of a dance club. An "anything goes" type of place.
I went into th bathroom. Some guy offered me a blowjob.
(And no, I didn't say yes, I was at the club with my GF)
#5
at the place where i work, some dude came in and kindov stood around the playboy area for awhile, and then asked to go to the bathroom....

... bout 30 mins later he came out. aparently he fapped all over the walls and stall.

so we made the new kid clean it up
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#6
Ever heard of Carlsbad Caverns? We were down in the middle part of it, where they sell food and have bathrooms and what-not. I had a Hershey bar, then halfway up on our way to the top, my stomach got upset. And of course, there are no bathrooms except at the top and at the bottom. So basically, I ended up walking back up to the top with a bunch of diarrhea in my pants.
Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
#7
Quote by metal4life592
Ever heard of Carlsbad Caverns? We were down in the middle part of it, where they sell food and have bathrooms and what-not. I had a Hershey bar, then halfway up on our way to the top, my stomach got upset. And of course, there are no bathrooms except at the top and at the bottom. So basically, I ended up walking back up to the top with a bunch of diarrhea in my pants.

Dude, you should've taken a fecal squirt on some stalagytes.
#8
One time I was at the mall and I went into the bathroom where this dude was in there with his young son. And as Im walking in I hear "NO don't spit on yourself!" and I immidiately leave. Oh and this one time I was free balling in athletic shorts and sharted by accident and it went on my friends floor when he was asleep and he woke up and I told him I was cleaning up the chili we had earlier cuss some went on the floor (which was still true though)
#9
i worked at a garden store and some fat worthless **** asked to use the bathroom. i happened to walk by like 15 min later and couldn't help but notice the stench coming from the bathroom. I peeked through the door and there was **** everywhere splattered on the toilet and the wall behind it. I almost puked. We made some new girl clean it up. She was using a hose to spray it down and it actually ended up clogging the drain on the floor. Then the whole backroom had standing ****water in it until i went and got some drano. It was like a warzone.
#10
Have you guys ever seen that episode of Dirty Jobs were Mike has to clean up an entire basement that's had the neighborhood's crap seep into after a septic line broke? I saw it today. It all came out of this toilet that was in the basement, there was mold and all kinds of nasty ****.

-g13
#11
At school I had to piss real bad, but all the urinals were taken so I went to a stall. There was a turd that had to be about 2 feet long.
Why I Love Spanish Women

I'm hoping by "crack" you mean cleavage unless you have some kind of bizarre ass-chest.


Quote by Kensai
Dude, relax. Don't be so rape about things.
#13
Didn't happen to me, but to a friend.

We were at my buddies grandparent's cottage in Montreal, like 30 minutes from civilization. So we smoked tons of Salvia in a really calm atmosphere, but that's a diff. story. Anyway, my friend, lets call him Elliot (real name, haha) had massive diarrhea in the only washroom in the cabin. There wasn't a light, there was a candle. He managed to drop the candle into the toilet, and plug it without realizing. It was our only candle, so we made him take a salad spoon and scoop through his own excrement to get the candle out.

The kicker: My friends grandparents still use the spoon.


Playing guitar is NOT a sport.

Let the RABBITS wear GLASSES
]
#14
Quote by Full_Rigor
i worked at a garden store and some fat worthless **** asked to use the bathroom. i happened to walk by like 15 min later and couldn't help but notice the stench coming from the bathroom. I peeked through the door and there was **** everywhere splattered on the toilet and the wall behind it. I almost puked. We made some new girl clean it up. She was using a hose to spray it down and it actually ended up clogging the drain on the floor. Then the whole backroom had standing ****water in it until i went and got some drano. It was like a warzone.




Quote by taraholic
At school I had to piss real bad, but all the urinals were taken so I went to a stall. There was a turd that had to be about 2 feet long.


#15
Quote by jwizzle5786
I saw MS 13 written in **** on the walls. Sadly it was at a boy scout camp.

Boy Scouts. Goddamn, 6th grade was the best...
#17
**** man, i'm not rofl, bit i'm like twisting on the computer chair laughing. i'm tccl. anyways, man this **** is hillarious i knew that when i got into this thread i would see the same individual posts that make various threads in the past hillarious. man i don't got any good stories but then again, i never took the time to write any down or relly remember them. maybe this one time in like gr1 i was always the slowest to eat my lunch for some reason. it would take me like the whole lunch , ppl would be outside and come back and i'd stil be there. the teacher let me stay in the classroom. i hate lunch program food, but anyways. near the end i had to take a huge hsit, and i didn't know what to do cuz i'm gr 1 and my parents never tought me to be independenet , the teacher wasn't there, how could i go to the washroom? one thing let to another, i ended up taking a huge dump in my pants. when eeryone came back, they were like, waht's that smell? it smells like a skunk. and it's coming from over there! pointing at me. i was so nervous but i didn't say anything. we were watching a documentary about sharks when the teacher called me up to her desk and asked me if i had an accident, i was like nodding violently having the oppurtinity to tell her without letting the whole class know. anyways i called my mom, got new underwear and ya.

this one time though, me and my frineds were like leaving the class together, cuz the sub fell asleep and we went to the washroom and my friend was pissing in the urinals so i went into the stall, cuz it was a small bathroom. and my other friend was just waiting in the washroom and then i pissed in the toilet and my friend started laughing then i started laughing, and when u laugh, it makes u like push harder, so i started pissing so hard and laghing and my friends started laughing even harder and saying holy **** ur pissing so loud. man it was so crazy we were laughing like we were high, but we weren't high just normal hahaha.
#18
One time I went to the bathroom and my other friend was already there pissing in a urinal and i walk up behind him and push him and he fell foward and I think his dick rubbed on the inside of the urinal and he didnt even stop pissing he just was there cursing at me and pissing and kind of laughing and he turned around and he didnt even pack in his dick yet and it was hanging out and i was like wtf man and hes like oh S sh it!! and i laughed and he turned around loosing his balance and he tripped and fell into the urinal and it hadnt flushed yet so he was drenched in his own peepee
#19
one time at school my friend was at the urinal and i kicked him in the back and he peed on his hand. he was going on about it all day.
Quote by zwart_gitaar

Dismemberment gives me an erection!
#20
This other time my girlfriend was taking a massive diahretic **** in my bathroom and I'd drank too much so i ran in threw up all over her face and pussy, then I looked into her eyes, said "i love you" and we had sex right there and then.
#21
Quote by taraholic
At school I had to piss real bad, but all the urinals were taken so I went to a stall. There was a turd that had to be about 2 feet long.


Ya I hate when people leave "gifts" in the toilets. Gross story: one time I was at the bowling alley, I went into the bathroom to piss, and I noticed there was **** all over the floor in the stall. I opened the stall door and there was crap all over the seat, down the bowl, and some on the walls.
#22
one time i ate my neighbors shiiit.


free puppies for anyone who gets the reference.
Quote by zwart_gitaar

Dismemberment gives me an erection!
#23
Quote by Thornography
One time I went to the bathroom and my other friend was already there pissing in a urinal and i walk up behind him and push him and he fell foward and I think his dick rubbed on the inside of the urinal and he didnt even stop pissing he just was there cursing at me and pissing and kind of laughing and he turned around and he didnt even pack in his dick yet and it was hanging out and i was like wtf man and hes like oh S sh it!! and i laughed and he turned around loosing his balance and he tripped and fell into the urinal and it hadnt flushed yet so he was drenched in his own peepee


HOly SNapz i was luahing the whole time i read that thing hahahah
#24
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
This other time my girlfriend was taking a massive diahretic **** in my bathroom and I'd drank too much so i ran in threw up all over her face and pussy, then I looked into her eyes, said "i love you" and we had sex right there and then.


We have a case of true love right here folks.
Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
#25
rofl. ugh in elementary school it was so gay id take a **** and faggot kids would peek under the stall asking wat am i doing and since then i never take a **** in school i just hold it in and run the mile to my house lol
#26
one word.

TIJUANA
member #2 [red army] of the Red vs. Blue Club. PM fret13 to join.
(I wasn't cool enough for a name)
Quote by RHCP94
Pfft, we all know Yakult isn't a person.
#27
when I was 16 i took a **** at the top of a spiral slide on a bet. it rolled down and stopped right at the bottom. my friends cames back the next day and there was **** smeared all over the bottom of the slide. i guess some kid slid on it.
#28
One time I went to the bathroom and my other friend was already there pissing in a urinal and i walk up behind him and push him and he fell foward and I think his dick rubbed on the inside of the urinal and he didnt even stop pissing he just was there cursing at me and pissing and kind of laughing and he turned around and he didnt even pack in his dick yet and it was hanging out and i was like wtf man and hes like oh S sh it!! and i laughed and he turned around loosing his balance and he tripped and fell into the urinal and it hadnt flushed yet so he was drenched in his own peepee


i was fvcking crying while i read this
R.I.P. Kurt Cobain
Quote by mathieupM13
If you want to see scary pics you should google Rosie O’Donnell
Last edited by nirvana23freak at Sep 27, 2007,
#29
Quote by razorwiredildo
when I was 16 i took a **** at the top of a spiral slide on a bet. it rolled down and stopped right at the bottom. my friends cames back the next day and there was **** smeared all over the bottom of the slide. i guess some kid slid on it.


Look Left>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Left you idiot
#30
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
This other time my girlfriend was taking a massive diahretic **** in my bathroom and I'd drank too much so i ran in threw up all over her face and pussy, then I looked into her eyes, said "i love you" and we had sex right there and then.

I wish I was a mod...so I could ban you You're more annoying than funny. Seriously.
Quote by triple_X_maniac
AMERICA FTW!!!

lol jk we suck


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#31



this thread rocks


It's odd that I just started on a bowl of Cereal too.


Once I was in a park in Oregon and I had to take a piss, and there was a **** trail from the door all the way to the stall.

t'was nice.
#33
Oregon? If it was near the metro area...it was one of my friends...

But anyway. One time I was going into the unisex bathroom at a gay/bi/lez bar (more on that later...I ain't gay) and since they have no stall doors, I was trying to look away. But I think I saw some dude screwing a chick doggy style while she was puking. NEVER GO TO THE ESCAPE IF YOU ARE EVER IN PORTLAND OREGON!
Hey look, a stoner/doom album.

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#34
Quote by larry jones
I don't care how good or how bad or how gross, share them right now.

My worst experience was a cliched one in some restroom in a Mobil gas station out on the road, basically the middle of nowhere Bakersfield. There was **** on the walls and on the mirror. I had to do the squat over the seat and pinch a loaf without sitting down.

True story.

I WORK at a gas station. Let me tell you a little story called, "Two weeks ago today."

I was in the bathrooms cleaning, which is something we have to do every two hours.. And I find a box of condoms, with all the condoms missing, except one. I found the condom a few seconds later in the handicapped stall, with a strange brown substance on it.

Now.. There's a possibility that two huge bikers went in there and ****ed each other. But I'd prefer to think this didn't happen.. Instead, I'm trying to delude myself into thinking somebody got constipated, and decided to pull those suckers out by hand, but didn't want to give himself E-Coli.. So he wrapped his fingers in a condom.

But I'm usually wrong.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#35
Quote by JesusOfSbrbia
It might just be me, but I think manually pulling out your own feces is a little more gross than gay sex.

You didn't see the guys that went in there together.

And it's not gay sex that bothers me. I wish I was gay. It's the idea of anyone having sex in the bathroom of a gas station.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#36
one time i crapped in the urinal
Quote by Saint of Steel
When you're climaxing shout:


'Show me where you're mother lives!'

See if that puts her off.

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Quote by Sabu
Get some 80s porn, you laugh a little, you jizz a little, it's a fun time.
#37
Back in Band in High School, we were practicing a concert piece when a trumpet player got up to use the restroom. He comes back 20 minutes later with a funny look on his face. Shortly after, the director cut everyone off and said "Everyone just practice on your own for a bit, nature calls". Hes in the bathroom no longer then 2 seconds when we hear the loudest laughter I have ever heard. He yells out "would all the boys, and girls not easily offended come take a look at this." We all go over to the bathroom, and the biggest turd I have ever seen is lying in this toilet. It was as long as from my elbow to my wrist, and was as thick as a salami. It wouldn't even sit in the toilet, the top of it was perched on the edge of the seat; It looked like a dark colored python. Someone tried to flush it, it wouldn't go down. It just got caught. When asked who did it, all eyes turn to the kid who went last, who just looks down. After a series of congratulations about his birth, we made him break it apart with a plunger so it would flush.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#38
^^nice freakin story leader.... I lol'ed

Has anyone ever noticed you have to take the worst craps at the worst moments, like explosive diarrhea the first time you go to meet your girlfriends parents. That crap was a relationship ender, and hence forth has been named as such.
Last edited by farcry at Sep 28, 2007,
#39
Quote by The Leader
Back in Band in High School, we were practicing a concert piece when a trumpet player got up to use the restroom. He comes back 20 minutes later with a funny look on his face. Shortly after, the director cut everyone off and said "Everyone just practice on your own for a bit, nature calls". Hes in the bathroom no longer then 2 seconds when we hear the loudest laughter I have ever heard. He yells out "would all the boys, and girls not easily offended come take a look at this." We all go over to the bathroom, and the biggest turd I have ever seen is lying in this toilet. It was as long as from my elbow to my wrist, and was as thick as a salami. It wouldn't even sit in the toilet, the top of it was perched on the edge of the seat; It looked like a dark colored python. Someone tried to flush it, it wouldn't go down. It just got caught. When asked who did it, all eyes turn to the kid who went last, who just looks down. After a series of congratulations about his birth, we made him break it apart with a plunger so it would flush.


lmao that is epic... I loled profusely after reading that
Quote by bpoeoanry
go back to sleep
Waking up with boobs? Is there a visine for that.
#40
Two words:

Reverse Kanga.
45 days without my precious UG...
CURSE YOU LOLWUT PEAR!!!

Quote by eggo_boi_15
Arnt the first few things anyone learns on a guitar is

1. Nirvana - smells like teen spirit
2. Prince - Smoke on the water
3. White stripes - seven nation army