This is a song that I've been writing little by little for the past couple of months but I'm kind stuck.
So I figure maybe if I get a little criticism I can get a push in the right direction. I guess what I'm really asking is for you guys to tear the crap out of this thing. Seriously go crazy. I'll be happy to crit anyone who replies.
I know that you're lonely
Yes I know 'cause I'm the cause of all your pain
and here I am to take the blame for all my games
And I know that you saw that you had to fall
but God said you deserved it all
You devil Doll
My Devil Doll
Everybody said to let you go
I wanted love you couldn't show
or didn't know how to give
Now that you're gone I'm just a memory
a smile to haunt your face
you said I'm in your dreams, now a nightmare
but you still have my heart, please don't despair
my devil doll
(it kind of picks up here tempo wise)
Got tangled up, tryin to let you go
seems kind of pointless, how i make a point to show
what can't be shown
I need to know where I begin
where do you start
and where does my mind end?
Thats about it. Have fun with this!