Page 1 of 2
#1
C'mon people, teachers are human too, with their own un-earthly habbits.

I had many who belong in an asylum and some who were probably close pals with Michael Jackson.

For example, my old german teacher ran into doors on purpose to teach us how to say "Crack your head" in german and made a friend of mine demonstrate. He hasn't been the same since.

Another snapped after being called a liar and lifted the kid's desk up and dropped it on his foot. The kid was put on crutches and sued. Note that the whole ordeal started over a stapler.

Now, what about your crazy teachers?
Oh noes!
#2
One of our maths teacher loves spelling words using a calculator.



Quote by KileManA7X
I remember my first erection. I went to my dad and was like "Do I have Aids???". I seriously thought there was something wrong with me.



#3
My old muic teacher had a break down in class. She walked out of a year 7 class, locked them in the room, wrote her resignation note, gave it to the head and never came back.

Another music teacher threw a chair at a kid before he was sacked. Turned out he wasn't even qualified.
#4
One of our Geography had a crazy idea of having a role play, if you will, of what everyone would do in an earthquake attack.

So everyone hid under their desks, and the teacher ran into the cupboard and got locked in.
#5
A lot of kids thought my precalculus teacher in high school was pretty weird. But I thought he was awesome.

Even though he got mad at our class for being loud and smashed his wooden paddle on his desk. Which was hilarious.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#6
I had a maths teacher who couldn't really talk English very well...and this was for a set 2 GCSE class. Somehow, we all managed to get the ,aximum grade of B in that class, I dunno how though...
#7
^^Haha

once my german teacher (who was german) sent me out the room because im left handed she said i was disturbing the right handed kids and stopping them from learning, and i hadn't said a word i had just got out my books and started writing
#8
Quote by buckethead_jr
One of our Geography had a crazy idea of having a role play, if you will, of what everyone would do in an earthquake attack.

So everyone hid under their desks, and the teacher ran into the cupboard and got locked in.


I would have left him in there and dismiss myself.
Oh noes!
#9
I hated the ones I had in Primary school that literally stood over me to make sure I ate all my lunch and if I didn't do it I wouldn't be allowed outside.
Own a PS3?
Add me: ILOVECHICKEN
#10
My old science teacher liked thrusting his pelvis into his students faces during class...

And he smells. How weird is that, a teacher that smells.
        ,
        |\
[U]        | |                     [/U]
[U]        |/     .-.              [/U]
[U]       /|_     `-’       |      [/U]
[U]      //| \      |       |      [/U]
[U]     | \|_ |     |     .-|      [/U]
      *-|-*    (_)     `-’
        |
        L.
#11
we had a teacehr in college that believes he is an actualy legend and if you dont play something on guitar his way its ****

he also has a habit of actually just telling people they are ****.
and he has an amazing voice which everyone just takes the piss out of!
Quote by Nemesis260
police is logical. or do your duty and rape him back

GEAR:
Laney BH150
Marshall B150
Line6 Spider II 15
BOSS HM-2 Heavy Metal (80's!)
Epi SG Special
Peavey Milestone III
#12
I had a teacher that had HUGE armpit stains on his shirt each day.
The best part is, he had huge glasses, and he was short and fat.

Another one would be, my old S.S teacher in 9th grade.
Once I had to stay after school to sort something out, and I walked by her room...
And she was ****ing dancing to this oriental music that was loud as hell, and she saw me and still continued...
Thats not all either.
Theres tons more from that bitch.
*Shudders*
Last edited by Zero135 at Sep 29, 2007,
#13
i had a teacher that lit our homework on fire, one of my teachers almost got fired for feeling some girls up, my old gym teacher checked out girls in there bathing suits when we were doing the swimming unit, my old band teacher graded the girls on how their boobs looked, and my science teacher plays WoW

Oh and i forgot, my music teacher got fired last year because he flipped out when they wouldn't let us take our guitars on the plane, started yelling racial slurs at the flight attendance, then tried to commit suicide by jabbing nail clippers in his neck. twas mad funny

and if this thread becomes big first page!
Last edited by chimairapwns at Sep 29, 2007,
#15
My old Chinese teacher chucked a chair at a kid in my class...

And my piano teacher is Ukranian. Nuff said really, eg. One time he turned one of the pages in my excercise book, paused, did it again and said "did you know that a page filled with ink makes a different turning noise than when it doesnt have any ink on it?" i tried to keep a straight face and told him "it makes a totally different sound if its wet as well" "oh... i might try that"
My Gear
Line 6 Variax 600
Epiphone G-310
Ibanez RG350EX
81' Ibanez Blazer Bass

Line 6 Spider III 75
Line 6 POD X3 Live
Fender ToneMaster Mini
Boss DD-2 Delay
Boss CE-2 Chorus


My Band
Band MySpace!
Band UG Profile
#16
I had a German teacher who would continously say the word we were supposed to be learning (in German) in Spanish...
#17
I had a few teachers that would be lecturing and then wait for the kids that were sleeping to get into a really deep sleep. Then, he would sneak up next to them and go "AHH!!!!!" and scare the **** out of them. It was quite amusing.

I had another female science teacher (who I will admit looked like a Milf) that one day said "Kinky kinky makes me pinky." That day was somewhat odd, but somewhat arousing to most of the guys in my class.

And my favorite, my 8th Grade Pre-Algebra teacher, Mr. Thompson. This guy seemed like a good guy, but you could tell he had anger control problems. It didn't help much that there was no air conditioning in his room because the building was under construction. Sometimes he would be doing a simple algebra equation and just go blank and stand there looking at the board going "Come on Keith, come on" (his name was Keith). My favorite time he ever freaked on us was the day after we had had some old substitute that left a bad note about the class. Well, Thompson comes back, and just starts yelling at us, he said something like "I WISH SOMETIMES I WAS A LITTLE BIRD! SO I COULD SIT UP IN THE RAFTERS (there were a few ceiling tiles missing due to construction) AND WATCH YOU GUYS ALL DAY LONG! BUT I CAN'T! DAMNIT GUYS! SHOW SOME EFFORT. E-F-F-O-R-T (he wrote it on the board). THAT'S ALL I WANT, COME ON!

Now at this point, I was laughing too hard to be paying attention to what he was saying, but I had to disguise my laughter as coughing. So at this point, the teacher on the other side of the wall from us comes over and just looks at Thompson for about 30 seconds and just shuts the door and walks away. Good times, good times.
#18
one day we had a supply teacher, i think we werein grade 7, maybe 8, but anywayas, some of you may know the game mindtrap (i think thats wat it's called) well anyways every day we would play that for the last 15 minutes, well whent hat teacher came, she took out teh wrong game, and we were telling her it was the wrong one, anyways it turns out our teacher made a mistake on her note of to wat to give us as assignments and such, and that supply teacher eneded up crying in class...like balling her eyes out, then she left, iw ent up tot eh class, grabbed mindtrap, and we began playing lol
Gear:
Jackson DKMG Dinky (EMG 81/85)
Ibanez GIO (i put a Dimbucker in the bridge)
Crate GT65 (65 watts) to be upgraded soon, suggestions welcome (must be tubed)
Floor Pod (for sale)
#19
Yesterday my SS teacher ran in dressed like a pirate and held my LA teacher captive...


I nearly pissed myself laughing...
#20
oh, i also have this science teacher at my school, who's german, he's a genuis man....i'm teling you, anyways one day my class went crazy and nobody was paying attention, so he grabs a metre stick/yard stick, and just smashes iton my freinds desk, i've never seen a teacher that angry, oh, and hte metre stick? about ten minutes later he finished picking up all the peices, some of my friends said they heard him screaming from up stairs.....it was loud, AND mostly german
Gear:
Jackson DKMG Dinky (EMG 81/85)
Ibanez GIO (i put a Dimbucker in the bridge)
Crate GT65 (65 watts) to be upgraded soon, suggestions welcome (must be tubed)
Floor Pod (for sale)
#21
where to start... my physics teacher last year mr grimes, wore jumpsuits and army boots everday, had a headset then went to the speakers around his room, slams a giant wooden mallet on the desk when people aren't paying attention. he hate what he calls "hallwalkers" which are people not in physics who just "walk the halls" all day not learning anything. his theory is that the labels like " dont use hairdryer in the shower" is so hallwalkers dont kill themselves. and eventually one day all the hallwalkers will kill themselves off because the do such stupid things. when he teaches he has two way conversations with himself.
for example:
-grimes: when you use an equation with gravity, g equals 9.8m/s squared.
- high pitched whimpering "hallwalker" voice- bbbut mr gggrimestein, i thought it was ssssomething else
-then he will literally yell at the top of his lungs "NNNOOO!!!!!!! G IS ALWAYS 9.8 METERS PER SECOND SQUARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he also has two giant digital clocks that i would guess are probably about 1 1/2 high feet by 4 feet long. and one time when he was talking about light he just went over turned the lights off, then turned a strobe light on and started doing the disco. once he was done with his daily lesson which was about 30 minutes, he would go sit at his desk with thing piled up over his head so high he couldn't see the students. then it was basically like recess in elementary school. my friend tyler brought his guitar to play in class and we had poker tournaments for the rest of the period.


p.s. oh yeah and theres a history teacher at my school that lets people bring in xbox 360 to play call of duty on during class.
My gear:
gibson sg
fender stratocaster
vox AD30
crybaby wah
#22
My physics teacher has a case of chronic hiccups. But they're not like normal hiccups, where you get many in a row. She gets them really bad one or two at a time. It is the most bizarre part of my day.
#23
I had a couple of strange ones back in secondary school. My history/geography teacher was the type who thought he was really cool and all the students loved him. He would tell us stories about how he used to smoke weed, and would tell elaborate tales about having damns opened on him or travelling through the Irish bogs or being chased by man-eating boars in Italy. On the last lesson of the year he took us out to the patch of trees and sludge behind the school field, took us through all the nettles, sat in a tree and told us to follow our dreams. He pissed me off.

Now in Sixth Form one of my psychology teachers has a few strange habits, he always twirls his watch around his wrist, takes it off, puts it on his desk, picks it up and then puts it back on at random times. I don't think he notices he does it either. He also sits strangely, leaning back in his chair with his legs crossed up on the desk. He's funny though.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
Last edited by Dinkydaisy at Sep 29, 2007,
#24
My old maths teacher was just a really bad teacher. She had no sense of how to control a class, and in one lesson she yelled out "YOU CHILDREN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO TEACH," so I raised my hand (keep in mind I'm not one of the trouble makers) and said "the other teachers seem to manage it."

I also had an art teacher who'd spend half the lesson telling people about how he met George Lucas, or going on some philosophical rant.
#25
i lol'd so many times on this thread,

why dont i ever get a good teacher, my french teacher is pretty weird, i think shes a pedo and she looks funnily at me sometimes,

also i ahd a great german teacher once who was so retarded that she forgot which class we wre in and went home!
#26
My math teacher in 7th grade was such a creepy spazz. First of all, she was a lesbian, and she told us about it and everything, it wasn't a rumor. She was very open about it. That's not the creepy part. The creepy part was that she was always looking down the girls' shirts and staring at them pervertedly. She was even called on it once, but denied everything. Also, she didn't wear deoderant, brush her teeth, cut her hair, shave her armpits or legs or mustache, and by the looks and smells of it very rarely showered. To top it all off, she smoked constantly. She really liked to get all up in your face and breathe on you. G-R-O-S-S. As if her rancid breath wasn't bad enough without the smoke too. It was disgusting. She was about 300 pounds and her stench was simply unbearable. She was sacked the next year because she made students uncomfortable.

I play piano and guitar.
Do you play piano?
Add me.
:]
#27
we had a teacher called Doctor Dodd and he used to like randomly go "boing" and make weird noises all the time, and he always joked about drugs and sex he was ****ing funny
#28
One day (or evening?), me and my mate went to see our classmates band's gig. They play punk, and they were supporting some local hc-metal band. When we arived at the club, I saw one of our schools PE teachers. Well, he's probably into metal aswell, cool, I think. My friends band finished their set, and the hc-metal band started to set up. Hey, whats our PE teacher doing on the stage? And why does he have a mic? Yeah, he was the vocalist-screamer. You should see my jaw dropping to the ground, that was AWSOME!
For a real pervert, any exit can be an entrance.
Quote by sTx
Awesome post, dude.

Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul Studio Goth
Peavey Valveking 112
My metal band, Nilfgaard
#29
in my old school, we had this teacher that would make motorcycle noises all the way down the hallway. and then he'd stop at our door and "drive" in and make some more more motorcycle noises. ohhhh junior high....
#30
One of the science teachers got sacked because he apparently was fapping in a back room when a class was going
www.myspace.com/nirvana_rox_ryda_j

Quote by Ovenman
Women don't sh*t.
There's no toilet in the kitchen.


Quote by Yan Yan
!

This thread was made back when i had my old 06 account.

#31
When I went to an induction day to my high school when I was at the end of middle school, my geography teacher started demonstrating an earthquake by throwing tables and chairs round the room.

Also, I had a science teacher called Dr Hoare who let us burn paper chavs and terrorists and make them explode using various chemicals at christmas
#32
my music appreciation teacher pranks calls other teachers in class. she'll call up a teacher and have the class recite some musical terms with metronome in the background. then she'll hang up without another word.

and my spanish teacher teaches more about europe, football and pushups that she does spanish.
"Satan isn't inside a guitar pick. He's in here. In our hearts. He's what makes us not want to go to work, or excercise or tell the truth." -
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I wish I was gay.

Quote by cashewchaching
Even though he's an ugly woman, my favorite is john mayer.
#33
My old geography teacher tied us up with our ties to see what it felt like to be a slave. Theres another geography teacher who never controls her classes and all the pupils throw stuff at each other.
We ain't pushing the boundaries, we're blowing them up.
We ain't trying to expand the scene, we want the scene to erupt.


#34
ok during my 9th grade english/geo one day we had two teachers and so one of them was giving a spelling test and the word was hoping

"the poor bunny hopped across the highway and was run over"
and the next sentance was "Its fur got stuck to the tire"
and the next two days she would not get off the subject of dead bunnys
#35
haha these are priceless
one time back in 7th grade i had o phychotic art teacher who always talked about her cat
and one day she had a break down and startd bawling in class because she hasnt had a man in years
Quote by Saint of Steel
When you're climaxing shout:


'Show me where you're mother lives!'

See if that puts her off.

KMFDM FAN CLUB

Quote by Sabu
Get some 80s porn, you laugh a little, you jizz a little, it's a fun time.
#36
My Physics teacher always got so pissed off at us whenever we got bad scores on tests and homework. His usual criticism was:

"You're all broken, all of you. You know I made a suggestion to the faculty today that they just send all teenagers to Africa. "

"If you didn't get #15 right, go outside and cut your head off because you obviously don't need it."

It was all in good humor though.
Quote by H^2

Wise words Trashfan.

trashfan
Quote by Chubbychunks
It's not going to be that great. Although particle physics does give me a hadron.
#37
My sixth grade history teacher was pretty out there(he was cool though). He'd be so into teaching. One time I remember he wanted someone to read something from the text book in a green box, and the idiot kept on reading something else, and the teacher told him a couple of times to read the GREEN BOX, and after 2 minutes of the kid not reading it the teacher jumped onto his main desk and yelled "READ THE GREEN BOX!!!!". It was funny.

One of my high school history teachers was cool too simply because he'd spend a whole class period talking about cool history ****(like how famous people died, or got horribly disfigured and whatnot). Good stuff.

My Auto Tech Career Center teacher in high school was kinda cool too. HE truly didn't give a flying **** what we did, he'd see who was there, and just go into his office and we'd all just goof off for 2 hours every day. Sucked because I actually wanted to learn something(my brother's friends taught me more than I could ever thank the for though), but it was nice to be in a class with people from 3 different schools and just goof off/chill out for that much time every day.
"Sticking Feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"--Tyler Durden

Cufk, TisH, Sips
#38
A couple weeks ago, our health teacher told us she had herpes.


We spent the rest of the class laughing.
#39
we had a weird, but cool teacher before. i only had him in fourth year, but when i was in first year, at teh age of 13, we had him looking after our class because our normal teacher wasnt there that day, i was talking and yapping with a few people, ad he just silently and calmy gets up, walks to my desk and says "sorry, can i borrow your copy book for a second?" so he took it, went back to his desk, wrote something, then brought back down, said nothing and went back to his desk again, i opened the copy and he had written in it, "if you do not shut up now, i will be forced to kill you". another time he told a friend of mine that he was going to rip his leg off and beat him to death with it!
UG Irish Clan-Póg mo thóin
#15 Ramones Worshipper RAMONES PM hardrock1315 to join.
#40
I had a war vetran teacher who has flash backs a lot and the war was really hard on him. Some Jerk kid pointed a laser pointer at him and the teacher thought it was a gun scope thing so he flips the desk, screams and dives behind the desk
Quote by EVH_5150
stairway to heaven has a solo?!?!
Page 1 of 2