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#1
i think a guy as cool as Big Chuck deserves his own thread. so post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes.
a few of my favorites are...

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond. lmao
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
Chuck Norris knows everything, except the meaning of mercy
Don't question Chuck Norris, he is never wrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't have surprise birthday parties because Chuck Norris is never surprised. Ever.
Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, unless you call a single roundhouse kick to the face a fight.
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once performed an uppercut on a horse, now we have giraffes.
The director of Terminator was originally going to cast Chuck Norris for the part, but then realized he'd just be doing a documentary.

got anymore? lol i love these
#4
as much as i hate this thread and chuck norris, i have some


chuck norris counted to infinity.......twice
#5
Chuck Norris once filed a complaint banning everyone from telling lame Chuck Norris jokes.

*Get the hint*
#6
everytime i hear a chuck norris joke i die a little
Quote by Stephen Colbert
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#8
Quote by burrit0
How old are you?


An 11 year old I'm guessing.
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It doesn't fit my playing style at all so I figured it would be good for me
#11
I made this just for threads like this.


Call me Roche.

Quote by Dyers
wut is a luthier? im assuming it has to do with the luthern church
#12
chuck norris doesn't dodge bullets, bullets dodge chuck norris
when chuck norris jumps in water he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norrised
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#13
i hate you.

most people believe that hitler took his life in a german bunker. but some people know the truth that he was really teabagged to death by chuck norris.
ehh
#14
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Guitars
Godin Velocity w/ Schaller locking tuners
Ibanez RG7321 w/ Dimarzio Crunchlab & Liquifire
Seagull Coastline S6 Burst GT QI
Random Ibanez Bass

Gear
Blackstar HT-5 Head
Avatar Contemporary 212 Cab
Peavey Valveking 112
#15
no no no no. Kid, if you were born yesterday, then i can understand that you haven't realized how old this is. Yet, since you were probably born in the mid 90s', you should have come across some form of chuck norris jokes and should have realized that no one cares or says them anymore
#18
Chuck Norris is the only white guy that can in fact jump

i don't care what you guys say
I love CN jokes
founder of the MXPX group, pm me to join

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!!!!!



Wii number: 7054 3894 4223 2011
#19
Chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch him self in the head!
#20
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he waits. (I wish there were new ones )

BTW, I hope your not wearing a hat TS, because it will be alight soon, due to the flaming your about to endure.
Call Me Joe
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FUK



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#22
it would be cool in maybe 5 years to start talking about chuck norris jokes, like listening to an album thats been chillin in the back of your closet forever.


right now its all about david carusoe, but actually thats even kinda old now.
#23
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.


if u want a funny clip go here >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h-4PFKcA1E
funniest laugh ever!!!
#24
I really don't understand why these are funny. There is only one I really like though;

Chuck Norris has dies 9 times, but death is too afraid to tell him.

Quote by LuthierofTexas
You have no experience with racks??? What kind of guy are you?
#25
Quote by gilbeaux1983
Chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch him self in the head!


damnit :mad i wanted to say that


Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

Children kill ants using a magnifying glass, chuck norris kills children by using ants, scientists are yet to discover how this feat is achieved
Quote by musical donkey
cyclobs you are demented..... in a good way
Last edited by cyclobs at Nov 24, 2007,
#27
my friends came up with this one.

girls dont have periods, chuck norris just goes around and brutally rapes them all once a month.
Quote by musical donkey
cyclobs you are demented..... in a good way
#29
Jesus walked on water... But Chuck Norris walked on Jesus
LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
LollipopSkeletonsLollipopSkeletons
#30
As much as I'm over these:

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing and yelled, "YOU GET A JOB!"


...I'm sorry.
Quote by The Spoon
i wasnt wikipediaing blow job okay, it just happened


Quote by primusfan

one time i fucked a sofa.


Quote by Draken
Freedom of speach?

on a private website?

Based in Russia?

i'm sorry comrade, but you fail.
#31
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris can burn ant with a magnifying glass....At night.
#32
Chuck Norris jokes are not funny.
Just thought I'd update you people living back in 2002.
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


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Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#33
Quote by Roach5
i think a guy as cool as Big Chuck deserves his own thread. so post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes.

So did a lot of other people.
Quote by The Spoon
i wasnt wikipediaing blow job okay, it just happened


Quote by primusfan

one time i fucked a sofa.


Quote by Draken
Freedom of speach?

on a private website?

Based in Russia?

i'm sorry comrade, but you fail.
#34
Quote by musical donkey
cyclobs you are demented..... in a good way


Quote by musical donkey
cyclobs you are demented..... in a good way
#35
Yeah, the Chuck Norris thing is old...

...but still funny as hell.


Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Got on the bus with me daysavaaaa
#36
These are bad but slightly different.

Chuck Norris' sperm causes cancer, shame he has AIDS.
Chuck Norris learnt to roundhouse kick at cheerleader camp.
After Chuck Norris drank his first beer he vomited all over himself, thus the phrase 'chucking' was born.
Chuck Norris' milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Chuck Norris only has a beard to hide his quadruple chin.
Chuck Norris can't play smoke on the water.
#38
chuck norris doesnt pay hookers. hookers pay chuck norris
chuck norris lost his verginity before his dad

the others have been said
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
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