#1
I need something good to say for my voicemail.

My current one is:

You have reached ###-###-####. who is not available at this time. Please leave a message at the tone. Press 1 to send a numeric page. Beep.

...

I need something good to say, kind of funny, somewhat clever, and not gay.

Any suggestions?
XBL Gamertag: SealCubs
#2
Leave a message saying, "Hello? Hello? Hellloooo?" *pause* then say, "I'm not here right now, so leave a message."
#3
"hello, this is the olive garden. if you have reservations press 1, if you don't have reservations press 2, .... well why don't you just tell me what you pressed?" IN a think Italian accent
Old king cole was a merry old soul, a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl( ****ing stoner)
and he called information for numbers he could have easily looked up in the phone book.
#4
well, i don't watch seinfeld but my parents keep telling me about an episode where george has a song for his voicemail. use that. im sure you can find it somewhere.

"believe it or not, geoge isn't at home!"

its a sweet song
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#5
"This machine has been wired to a small kitty. If you hang up without leaving a message, little fluffy here will have 10,000 volts flowing through her. The choice is yours"
#6
"Hello. I couldn't think of something funny or clever to say, so just leave a message. Also, I'm not gay."
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
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[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

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Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

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Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#7
Hi this is _____'s psychic voicemail, If you think about what you want to say to me, I'll think about calling you back.

Ehh i forgot what it originally was.
#8
Quote by Its_Rock77
well, i don't watch seinfeld but my parents keep telling me about an episode where george has a song for his voicemail. use that. im sure you can find it somewhere.

"believe it or not, geoge isn't at home!"

its a sweet song


"Believe it or not, george isnt at home, so leave your message at the beep. I must be out or i'd pick up the phone, where could I be?? Believe it or not, im not home!"
#10
Quote by burrit0
Leave a message saying, "Hello? Hello? Hellloooo?" *pause* then say, "I'm not here right now, so leave a message."

pretty much this. say "hello" like you'd normally do when answering your phone, pause for a bit, then say "im not here, leave a message" or something to that effect. my friends is that and it gets me every time
#12
"You have reached [insert name]. Your phone will now self-destruct in three... two... one...

...Aaaaand you're still here. Leave a message."
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#13
make one thats like "Hey whats up? ... What? Excuse me who is this? I'm sorry i dont know you. Leave a message"

Theres probably a lot of posts saying something similar, but idc lol
#14
i change my mind. your voicemail should be you singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt." dont add a "leave a message" at the end either. just sing the song then stop. instant win.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#15
Say "hey" then pause for like 10 seconds then

"is anybody there?" another 10 seconds

"I'm going to hang up if you don't say something" 10 seconds

end.
#16
hello?
*pause*
whats up?
*pause*
i ****in hate you
*pause*
leave a message (or you can leave this part out.)
Sig space for rent.
$100 obo
Message for negotiaton.
#17
 Although there are a few clients who think voicemail is used by employees to avoid calls, most clients prefer leaving voicemail messages over verbal or written messages to receptionists/secretaries for confidential reasons. Using voicemail in your business is therefore bound to increase client feedback. 
You can fine some good voicemail from here  or http://www.voicemail-greetings.com 
#18
That fucking avatar.

I'm dying here, lads.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
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Normani
Normies
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#19
Quote by zgr0826
That fucking avatar.

I'm dying here,  lads.

I know it's a necro, but still

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#20
Hello. I can't answer the phone because I have dicks in my mouth. Please leave a massage. But only if you're a guy.
Free Ali
#21
Hello, If you are a guy answering my phone then fuck off. If you are a girl answering my phone  and want to chill then cool but I only like the Netflix part. 
-BUBBA-
#22
Quote by bubba
Hello, If you are a guy answering my phone then fuck off. If you are a girl answering my phone  and want to chill then cool but I only like the Netflix part. 

Having a user ID of 45 is pretty incredible tbh. You must have registered like the week this forum went active.

Ya nerd 
My God, it's full of stars!
#23
what is this 2005 when we set songs for people to listen to instead of hearing a ring? The whole act like your there voicemail is played out (yes, salty it gets me everytime). Funny voicemails are cool until someone serious calls you and you feel like an idiot (like if your boss calls, or if you applied for a job ). I let my voicemail just repeat my number that way my name isnt given out. Last thing i need is to get a number from a girl and get a call later on from her boyfriend. But I try to be secretive, thats just me. 
#25
I probably havent checked my voicemails since 2007 tbh
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#26
Hello, you've reached the [insert your towns name] whore house. The phones are busy so please leave a message. 
They can't stop us Let 'em try For heavy metal We will die!