#1
here's something I wrote a few minutes ago because I'm in a pissed off mood right now and I needed to vent somehow. I'm not sure if it falls under song, poetry, cave drawing, whatever but for now I'm gonna call it a rhyming rant

Ever wish you could watch your life as a movie
And let the world pass by?
Ever struggle so hard, give it all you’ve got
Then fail and not know why?

This is for all the sad ****s with no ambitions, hopes, dreams or futures
Who’re just living out their parent’s expectations
We might as well be cattle out their
Just waiting for expiration

Well I say to hell with the future
It‘s so ****ing pointless
To become a stiff and lose yourself
Doing the 9 to 5, becoming mindless

A generation lost to teen moms, dropouts and pot
Is what they call our sorry asses
Well you gave birth to this “lost generation”
Well **** you hypocrites, it’s not like you never skipped any classes

So label this another piss-off rant from an idiot who never excelled
Save your handouts and your scholarships for those whom which you’ve gelled
Soon enough you’ll realize that you can’t blame us for being ****ed up
When you’re the ones who raised us


crit mine or suggest stuff and I'll do the same for you
#2
pretty good imo

"Well I say to hell with the future
It‘s so ****ing pointless
To become a stiff and lose yourself
Doing the 9 to 5, becoming mindless"

****in a
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#3
considering that this is sort of just an angry rant, i quite like it

You are obviously quite skilled at writing because your metre is great, and the flow is really good. I can't really imagine this being more than a pop punk song, but for what it's worth this is quite a good write.

Few pointers; 'cattle out their' - there, not their.

Also, I'm not really too keen on the first verse, it's pretty cliche and boring, and the rhyming is lame.

Overall though I like it... although it isn't really that poetic... more of an educated rant.

but hey, who cares? crit mine? obsession, link is in the sig. thanks.
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#4
this is a great song, make something out of it!
its a really good subject to sing about and is rarely covered in songwriting, theres too many love songs, and no one really gives a **** anymore lol
i especially like the 1st verse, and dude, i wouldn't post anymore songs on here. coz some real basterds could steal it, because this song is decent! keep it safe until you've released it in a band and get known for it?
nice one m8
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