#1
A little hip hop experiment. This demo was rushed together pretty quickly (guess you could say it's raw ), and the finished product would have completely different music. Nonetheless, it'd be cool to get feedback on my flow and my vocal timbre.

Here are the lyrics:

Every now and then, in the month of February, I
Visit my friend, in the local cemetery, I
Bring a bouquet and place it on the grave, I
Say a few words and I think about my day, I
Think about the days when he used to be alive,
Think about the games we used to play when we were five.
Good days, yeah, but now’s a different time, he’s
Gone now, yeah, but still I’d never cry, I want to
Tell you, all, about a time now past, the
Moments are gone, but the memories last.

In the east end side of a mass divide, World
War II in a mass culture collide.
Across the sea from a nation weak, was a
Small but deadly powerful streak, of a
Land we know as the place of Japan, and
In this war was a powerful plan, and
Thus was made, in the militant raid, a
Unit came of three digits to blame, and
Six six six, the number of which, was
Put to shame in the game of kitsch, I
Present to you, a forgotten tale, of a
Scientific endeavor of hell.


The song's in my profile. It's titled Eulogy / Digitz of Hell (demo). Crit for crit.


PS - Want some extra e-cookies? Listen to Digitz of Hell (incomplete demo) in my profile, and tell me how it compares. Specifically, which of the two songs you think is better. Both songs are under a minute, so it shouldn't be too hard.
#4
thanks for the crit! i love your pun up top there (the raw one :-D)

but it had a nice rhythm to it, pretty cool backing too, the drums seemed to fit, but i woulda liked to hear a little up beat beat , but it fit pretty well. id love to hear the whole thing when its done!
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


#1 MEMEBER OF THE OFFICIAL THRASH METAL FAN CLUB (PM URE FAV BANDS TO ME TO JOIN)
#5
I actually really enjoyed it and I was not expecting too at all. I can't really give advice on the rapping side of things but I found the whole thing really interesting! Won't pull me away from my Dashboard Confessional and Damien Rice though!