#1
Haven't written anything in a while, so let's see if this is anything.

this is the first thing ive written that i'm pleased with myself, might put it to some chords...

lemme know what you guys nd gals think


Loneliness consumes me
Sitting in my room
Burning up beside me
My impending doom

Loneliness consumes me
Lying on the ground
Drowning in my failures
Nothing else is found

Loneliness consumes me
Soaring through my brain
Searching for a hoping thought
Finding only pain

Loneliness consumes me
Need to find a way
Too much chaos and sorrow
Leaving this today

Loneliness consumes me
Stranded on a shore
Nothing here surrounds me
Wanting nothing more

Loneliness consumed me
Before some light was shed
All the friends i needed
The voices in my head


C4C? just post a link

kthxbai
GEAR:
Ibanez SR605
Some 71' P-Bass
Orange Bass Terror 500 > Markbass 4x10
#4
Kind of downcast and dark. :p

The repetition of the first line gets a little excessive, but you use it to good effect in the last stanza. Lots of the lines are a little cliche, which weakens the piece, though it's nice that there's an optimistic twist at the end. Overall, it's solid. WOuld work well with some backing chords.

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=683177