#1
this is a song i wrote for a girl i like whos now my gf

Oh Marie

Oh Marie,
We'll always be together,
Just you and me forever,
No one will tear us apart today,
Oh Marie,
I just want to let you know,
I'll never let you go,
Oh Marie,

Marie,
Oh Marie,
Now it's just you and me,
Oh Marie,

Oh Marie,
I'll always say I love you,
Just because it's true,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
We'll always share our dreams,
Mine's of you and me,
Oh Marie,

chorus

Oh Marie,
We'll share our hugs and kisses,
And all our stupid wishes,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
I'll always be there for you,
Whenever you need me to,
Oh Marie,

chorus

Oh Marie,
We'll spend time at the movies,
In the dark just you and me,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
You're everything,
I'll do anything,
Oh Marie

chorus 2x

Oh Marie (6x)
Now it's just you and me,
Oh Marie.





LUCAS!!!!!!!

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#2
Cool song, sounds like. Reminds me of Hey There Delilah. One thing I would point out, I do believe you overused Oh Marie quite a bit. I mean, maybe it would sound good acousticly and such so I don't know. But don't get me wrong, I did like this. It reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. Um, critique mine? Its A Lighthouse Anectdote.
#3
Nothing like a good song to get a girl lol.
But no really its good, and even if you overused marie, it doesn't matter, it came from the heart!

Crit my new song if u have time
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#4
Quote by causomeguy35


Oh Marie

Oh Marie,
We'll always be together,
Just you and me forever,
No one will tear us apart today,
Oh Marie,
I just want to let you know,
I'll never let you go,
Oh Marie,
i liked the first four lines. cliche and done about a million times over but it came from the heart man, who can fault you for that. i really liked the fourth line. it showed some creativity. the rest is rather redundant. im sure you know by now.

Marie,
Oh Marie,
Now it's just you and me,
Oh Marie,
nothing special here, no real bulk at all to this part.

Oh Marie,
I'll always say I love you,
Just because it's true,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
We'll always share our dreams,
Mine's of you and me,
Oh Marie,
"oh marie," is getting very monotonous. it's nice to write a song for a girl but you actually have to have some other lyrics than the title. sorry to be harsh but it's true. 7th line feels forced. any way to reword that?
chorus

Oh Marie,
We'll share our hugs and kisses,
And all our stupid wishes,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
I'll always be there for you,
Whenever you need me to,
Oh Marie,
a song about love and such shouldn't include the word "stupid." definitely change that word, it doesn't fit with the "good feeling," vibe the rest of the song gives off. again redundancy, not much bulk or emotion in these lyrics.

chorus

Oh Marie,
We'll spend time at the movies,
In the dark just you and me,
Oh Marie,
Oh Marie,
You're everything,
I'll do anything,
Oh Marie
line 2 seems strange. i mean i get the idea but going to the movies is really cliche. i liked lines 6 and 7, although they are rather simple.
chorus 2x

Oh Marie (6x)
Now it's just you and me,
Oh Marie.


i like the idea of writing a song for a girl, ive written dozens, but you actually have to come up with lyrics. this song is way redundant and seems like it would get boring. work with it. it does get easier. crit mine when you get the chance

Wonderous
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#5
Woah, that sounds very early Beatles. haha

I like these lyrics. Put them to a simple and accordingly temperate chord progression and this song should do fine.