#1
This is just a straight forward pop/rock ditty I wrote. I was really thinking of a happy Weezer style for this one.


Though you’re all the way across the ocean,
I can see you on the other side.
All I’ve got to give is my devotion,
Won’t make that swim until I’ve tried.

Your laugh, your touch, your kiss,
God knows how much more I miss,
Yeah I never thought a girl could make me feel like this,
Now I just want you in my arms again.

It doesn’t take that much to see
I’m such a fool for you
What I’d give to have you back with me,
Yeah if you only knew.

When I dream it’s you who’s in it,
And I never want to wake.
If you’re a drug then I’m an addict,
And I want all I can take.


Thanks for reading!
#2
OMG I LOVE IT~
Very well structured.
Could have been a bit more detailed and longer, but I think that you're defintiely talented.
"if you're a drug than i'm an addict" THATS SO COOL!
#3
The song has nice vibe to it but still there's a room for improvement . Some of the lines are
really good and imagery is nice especially in the first stanza but the idea is bit overused.
Some of the lines are really cliche and cheesy like

"I'll see u on other side ........or whatever"

heard this , used it and hate it now . this is my personal experience .

Althogh this song can be a gr8 song to play on stage but lyrically
there's nothing new in it that i can say that it really blowed me away.
But still the whole drug and addict metaphor was a good metaphor
which shows uu have a lot of potential but it's not channeled well
in the piece.

Srry if i was a bit harsh . I don't like to crit romantic pieces and i know
this was writern with lot of feelings but it can be presented in much better way

Thnx for critique . I'll see u around

Hi