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#1
I had to get this rant out. It's been inside for about two years, and I am ready to explode (and yes, it is long. You can just skip down to the "Please give me adivce part" if you want). So, two years ago this new girl, who was a missionary kid from Africa, came to our school. Obviously her first week was a little awkward so I decided to be the kind person who let her sit with me, ect.

So we go on being pretty good friends for quite awhile. Then it's like something suddenly turned horribly wrong. Towards the end of last year, she got insanely clingy. I mean, without exaggerating, I could not go to the bathroom, or even my locker, without the girl following me. It was ridiculous (sp). Generally, I try my best to be a nice person, but it was getting out of hand.

Now this year, SHE EVEN STOLE MY FRICKIN' HAIRCUT. You may be thinking "Oh dear Ringtone, you are being absolutely ridiculous. She could not have possibly stolen your haircut, your haircut resembles that of many others." Of course, that is true. But she got this alleged haircut about two days after mine, and it was an almost exact replica- even down to the position of the layers. Coincidence? You decide.

I can't go ANYWHERE without this girl on my back. When I go to lunch, I'm usually the first there since my class usually gets out earliest for lunch. So of course, I sit by myself for about five minutes until my friends show up. No problem, except when the girl sees someone coming to sit down by me, she will literally run to sit next to me. When I am done eating, it doesn't matter how much of her lunch she's actually eaten, she is done as well, and stands up to follow me only seconds after I leave the lunch room. The thing that really gets me though, is that I am, in general, a not very social person. I enjoy walking down the halls by myself, and catching up with friends later, things like that. Every time I walk to a class, she is RIGHT behind me. Not even next to me, like she wants to have a conversation, but directly behind.

But the second to worst part is, she agrees with everything I say. I mean, I can't even ask her girl things (Such as "does my hair still look okay?", ect.), because I know she will just lie and say yes, because she thinks it's what I want to hear. When she talks, it's the same conversation. She'll come, sit next to me, state how absolutely exhausted she is, how hard the homework last night was, and how scared for the test she is. That's usual for most people, but this girl is, literally, brilliant. I know there is absolutely no way she struggled with the math homework or is scared for the test, because she is usually the one who willingly [overly] helps me with mine. And always aces every class. She only says things that have absolutely no opinion to them, and if they do, they are just agreeing with my, or someone elses, opinion.


And now, if you read this far (hopefully you did, or you will think I am a total meany), the worst part. I hate to see the girl change herself just because she thinks it will make her fit in. I know I should be friends with her and be nice to her, and I know it must be hard for her after always moving around. I know she is just trying to fit in and have a real friend, or maybe even a best friend. I don't want to see her try to change because she thinks people- or more accurately, my friends and I- will like her more. I feel awful for feeling this way, because I know she only wants a friend. But treating me like I am gold that she must be in sight of all the time is not the way to go about doing it. I feel terrible because I think she is so annoying, when I know she is just trying too hard to fit in. I don't understand it. I would think she would get so sick after awhile of always having others make her decisions, but I don't know. When she is always around, I just want to be more alone. She even pretends to like my music, despite the fact it is well known she only enjoys that alternative Christian stuff they play on the radio (not Relient K and Underoath, more like Chris Tomlin and Steven Curtis Chapman), and not my screamo, metalcore and whatnot. It's driving me crazy, even though every time I try to get away from her, I feel so bad.

I'm almost worried about her. I mean, we're not going to school together forever. What if she falls into a "horrible crowd" and becomes a total and undeniable slut just because it is "what everyone else is doing?"

So, any advice on how to nicely tell her that sometimes I just need to be alone, and that copying what other people do to have friends is actually a BAD thing?
#3
God that was so boring. She isn't your responsibility. I know it might feel bad, but you're just going to have to cut her out. People like that drag you down.
There is poetry in despair.
#5
You seem like a nice girl, I will give you that. I really dont know what to say, im very un confrontational. Take pride in how good you are though, im completely serious. Your now the Venerable Ringtone
Last edited by ThePeacefrog at Oct 3, 2007,
#7
Just tell her to leave you alone. If she always agrees with you and does what you say, she'll fuck off.

Seems logical to me.
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#8
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.


Precisely.
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#9
break it to her nicely, be all like hey you dont have to do everything everyone else does to be cool yaknow

but make sure its in an uppity tone!
BASSLINES TO MAKE YOUR CHEST CAVITY SHUDDER.
#10
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.



I'm not a lesbian?
#11
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.

ringone is a girl, and thats horrible advice

Jack my swag
#12
Yeah, you guys...I'm pretty sure Ringtone's a chick.

That said, oh dear Ringtone, you are being absolutely ridiculous. She could not have possibly stolen your haircut, your haircut resembles that of many others.
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#13
just get her really stoned. or just say that all the "cool kids" drink a gallon anti-freeze when they get home
#14
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.


can't you see from his post that he's a nice person?
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."
#15
I found that with clingy people, you've got to be a little harsh, but not so harsh that they hate you. BTW don't try my advice, because that person never talked to me again
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#17
Quote by Sol9989
can't you see from his post that he's a nice person?

cant you see from the other pposts he is a she?
#18
Quote by Sol9989
can't you see from his post that he's a nice person?

once again, ringtone is she

Jack my swag
#19
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.

EDIT: Sorry I didn't know you were a chick, still......
+1

if that doesn't work, bring your guitar to school, and *attempt* to play her style of music and botch it horribly.
Last edited by djmay71 at Oct 3, 2007,
#20
I love how everyone assumed you were a guy.


Talk to HER about it, not the pit.
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#22
Tell her how you feel.

Lay it on soft.

Since your on UG, just paly a soft acoustic song with the general message "get off my back"
Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out.
#23
at all the people that think Ringtone is a guy after she clearly stated that this girl stole her haircut...
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#24
Pics or it didnt happen.
no, really
is she hot?
I guess you could introdice her to someone.
is she one of those white african chicks?
or is she like one of those "So-black-shes almost-purple" chicks?
no offense to anyone,
but , i gotta know
#25
Quote by NathanWolff
Just tell her upfront what your problem with her is, thats what I do.



seriously though would vegetarians eat animal crackers?lol
#26
Hey at least she didn't fall into a group that does drugs.

Not that I'm against drugs it just seems she would easily take them,
not by choice but feeling she needs to, to fit in.

If I were you tell her straight up. If you have to yell then yell.
I hate it when people aren't honest about what they think,

I used to be like that and too tell you the truth I'm glad who
ever told me to "get real" told me so.

If it where me I would say something like " I really hate ______."
(insert something she really likes and you know she does)

Then when she lies about it bust her and tell her what you want her
to know.
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#27
I love how some people seem confused that a girl was stalking a girl.
#29
I know she isn't my responsibility, but she is making me feel like she is. I should just tell her upfront, but I hate making people feel bad, and she wouldn't have any other friends if I did...


But on the otherhand, I will go slowly and painfully insane if I don't.
#30
*cough* pushover *cough*

sometimes it's ok to be an asshole
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#31
Quote by pimpslap1236
dude how is she your responsibility? just use her for sex, then everybody wins.

Uh? shes a...she
#32
Quote by Ringtone
I know she isn't my responsibility, but she is making me feel like she is. I should just tell her upfront, but I hate making people feel bad, and she wouldn't have any other friends if I did...


But on the otherhand, I will go slowly and painfully insane if I don't.


just do it over the netzorz so she cant stick you with a spear.
#33
Quote by GuitarHero0715
Pics or it didnt happen.
no, really
is she hot?
I guess you could introdice her to someone.
is she one of those white african chicks?
or is she like one of those "So-black-shes almost-purple" chicks?
no offense to anyone,
but , i gotta know



She is okay looking, I guess.
Yes.
No.
#34
Quote by jackson action
Uh? shes a...she



yes we've come to understand that now thank you very much, its only been repeated 11 times.


secondly....that makes it even better.
#35
Quote by Vornik
at all the people that think Ringtone is a guy after she clearly stated that this girl stole her haircut...

thats what i was thinking

Jack my swag
#37
lol at liking steven curtis chapman...its not my schools morning prayer all the time

...and my iPod. shh

anyways...just be open and honest with her. It seems like you've been trying to do the right thing. Tell her how you feel, and that you'd appreciate her alot more as a friend if she acts like herself and isnt so clingy
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#38
Quote by jd44
*cough* pushover *cough*

sometimes it's ok to be an asshole



You don't have to cough it, I know I am a pushover.


I want to tell her that being yourself is a whole lot easier than trying to be someone else, but how am I supposed to do that? "Hey, I think it's kind of creepy you stalk me like this, and how you stole my haircut and suddenly "like" all of my favorite bands. So I thought I would tell you to stop trying to be me and start trying to be you."

I would feel terrible.
#39
is that like a mental illness or something? i've never heard of anyone being that obsessive.
#40
seeing as i dont have a heart i would have told her to stop following me everywhere. I also dont have any friends either...
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