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#2
Fire.
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#5
By manipulative people do you mean contortionists? Those bastards. 'ooh im putting my foot in my anus and scratching my head with my chin look at me"


But seriously ignore them.
#10
manipulate them into manipulating you, in doing so you win because you got them to do your bidding.
#11
Suicide.


(Be more specific.)
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#12
Quote by metaldud536
The blowjob.

lol or rub icy hot in their eyes
Manchester United
#13
No my band's drummer just like, has to have his way. We're an older band, to, like we're not some high school 1 show per month thing, we're trying to get touring by early next year, and we're trying to get a full length out and all that. Basicly our drummer just needs to grow up. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't think he needs a job, he goes through 3 girlfriends a month, etc. But mainly hes just manipulative. He turns and twists stuff to get what he wants. And I dunno how to combat that, because I guess I'm like the opposite, I'm as honest as I can be about everything. Seriously like you'll tell him something the bands going to do, like 'ok we're gonna record another song <whenever>' and he'll be all ok at first, but the next day hes started some mental games campaign towards recording when HE wants to. He just CAN'T let things run smoothly. If theres a reason, even very small, for him to not like something, hes going to blow it up.
We're only strays.
#14
Fire.
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#15
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
No my band's drummer just like, has to have his way. We're an older band, to, like we're not some high school 1 show per month thing, we're trying to get touring by early next year, and we're trying to get a full length out and all that. Basicly our drummer just needs to grow up. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't think he needs a job, he goes through 3 girlfriends a month, etc. But mainly hes just manipulative. He turns and twists stuff to get what he wants. And I dunno how to combat that, because I guess I'm like the opposite, I'm as honest as I can be about everything. Seriously like you'll tell him something the bands going to do, like 'ok we're gonna record another song <whenever>' and he'll be all ok at first, but the next day hes started some mental games campaign towards recording when HE wants to. He just CAN'T let things run smoothly. If theres a reason, even very small, for him to not like something, hes going to blow it up.


He's a drummer, what are you expecting?
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#16
with mind bullets?
FOR SALE:

Wilkinson EZ lok Tuners - £15
Dunlop 535q Multiwah - £80

Offers/Trades anyone?
#18
Damn, the Pit is not in a helpful mood today, is it? (Myself included)
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#19
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
No my band's drummer just like, has to have his way. We're an older band, to, like we're not some high school 1 show per month thing, we're trying to get touring by early next year, and we're trying to get a full length out and all that. Basicly our drummer just needs to grow up. He doesn't have a car, he doesn't think he needs a job, he goes through 3 girlfriends a month, etc. But mainly hes just manipulative. He turns and twists stuff to get what he wants. And I dunno how to combat that, because I guess I'm like the opposite, I'm as honest as I can be about everything. Seriously like you'll tell him something the bands going to do, like 'ok we're gonna record another song <whenever>' and he'll be all ok at first, but the next day hes started some mental games campaign towards recording when HE wants to. He just CAN'T let things run smoothly. If theres a reason, even very small, for him to not like something, hes going to blow it up.

Just don't be manipulated. If you say "We're going to record this song at such and such a time" then do it. If he tries to weasel out of it just say "No, we're all set up to record it then." If he argues or doesn't show up, kick him out of the band, he doesn't sound like the kind of person you'd want to be in one with anyway.
#20
Do a barrel roll.


Quote by Kensai
Fire.


Yeah...eh...

Kensai as a child, already mesmerised:
Friends, applaud the comedy is over.


I'd dance with you but...


#21
Do not worry about it too much. If you can spot some who is and or maybe wants to manipulate you that is half the battle of protecting yourself. Whenever they say or do something trying to get something just say ya right and walk away. Take comfort in knowing that the old addage of birds of a feather flock together is sort of true. When it comes to people who are manipulative or meanspirited one might say that people who swim with sharks eventually get eaten.
#22
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
How do I deal with them?


Quote by Kensai
Fire.



...thread's over folks, nothing to see here. Move along, move along.
Thus sayeth the Lord.

<//////>~
#23
hum what happens when you talk to him about it?
Quote by Pharoah
Can God create a hot dog so hot even he couldn't eat it?

Lyke omg D@ @p0OcpLpSYe.
#24
Quote by Kroach
hum what happens when you talk to him about it?


He gets upset. He turns it around immediately at you. Like for instance I showed the band a riff for us to play during practice, and as we played it I suggested that he change a part of the drumming, and the first words out of his mouth were"yeah well I don't like your riff." He's never wrong in his eyes, hes always the victim. Like I said, he needs to grow up.
We're only strays.
#25
Dude you mite get one serious answer, everyone is just going to post fire or put icy on him or sumthing funny. Just grow a pair n face up to him
Manchester United
#26
Mindfuck them with some logic. Most manipulative people are actually very sensitive, neurotic people, just give them something to worry about: Pretend to be gay, take up bowling as a hobby, just mindfuck them till they leave you alone
#27
By not being manipulated.

If he's got something wrong, don't tell him he's right to make him happy. It'll be better for him in the long run and you won't have to change your good idea.
#28
When I "grow a pair and stand up to him," he gathers up an army of people, telling them how much of a jerk I am, and the people, not fully understanding the situation (because they were fed his version) are like whats wrong with you, dude? That happened before. Like I wouldn't mind asking him to leave at all, but that would mean we'd either get a drummer thats just good enough to fill the roll, or I would go back to drums and we'd get someone else on guitar, neither of which I want to happen. And like I still have faith that he can change. When I first suggested he join our band, like a year ago, I thought he had changed (we've been best friends for years). But hes kind of reverted, because things didn't go his way in the first half year of him being with us, and he decided ok thats it I'm going to act like a douche, basicly.
We're only strays.
#29
Like I remember like years ago when he was first learning to drum, he was a different person. He was younger, but for his age he had it more together. But hes changed, and I'm really starting to dislike him. I mean when things are okay, like when hes actually not a complete nutcase about stuff, its great because we both have the same sense of humor and we all have fun and stuff, but all the while in the back of my mind I know he's going to pull some gay crap in the future, and at some point it all just has to culminate and be resolved, and its not going to be pretty.
We're only strays.
#30
Quote by Child In Time
Do a barrel roll.


Yeah...eh...

Kensai as a child, already mesmerised:


Quote by musicianamedave
...thread's over folks, nothing to see here. Move along, move along.




I've always liked fire; as a kid me and my buddies would make paper forts, put legomen in them and burn them to the ground. We were the duplo kind of guys, I guess.

Quote by Martyr's Prayer
When I "grow a pair and stand up to him," he gathers up an army of people, telling them how much of a jerk I am, and the people, not fully understanding the situation (because they were fed his version) are like whats wrong with you, dude? That happened before. Like I wouldn't mind asking him to leave at all, but that would mean we'd either get a drummer thats just good enough to fill the roll, or I would go back to drums and we'd get someone else on guitar, neither of which I want to happen. And like I still have faith that he can change. When I first suggested he join our band, like a year ago, I thought he had changed (we've been best friends for years). But hes kind of reverted, because things didn't go his way in the first half year of him being with us, and he decided ok thats it I'm going to act like a douche, basicly.


Yeah seriously... fire. He sounds like that annoying kid that talks to you about stuff you don't care about while you just sit there and fantasize about stomping his face into a jar.
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#31
Don't let him? Just a suggestion, he's not really doing any manipulation, he's just crying and opposing you until he gets his way. And if he keeps it up why not kick him out of the band?
Whitest Kid U' Know of the Bass Militia
PM Dinky Daisy to join


Originally posted by Civildp1
I can't drink tequila anymore. it makes me do terrible things. Terrible naked things.
#32
Quote by MattPerson911
Don't let him? Just a suggestion, he's not really doing any manipulation, he's just crying and opposing you until he gets his way. And if he keeps it up why not kick him out of the band?


No he does manipulate, he twists things around and he makes it seem like hes always right. We're starting to learn how to manage him, but still it helps to hear yalls opinions (and jokes).
We're only strays.
#33
Get a new drummer of just deal with him, be strict with him and if he quits then so be it, you have to be honest with yourself when someone isn't working.
#34
Quote by Martyr's Prayer
No he does manipulate, he twists things around and he makes it seem like hes always right. We're starting to learn how to manage him, but still it helps to hear yalls opinions (and jokes).


So what? He's not right. You should be able to pull it back around your way if you have even the slightest skill at arguing with people, unless he actually is right, which means you've been feeding us all bull****. Just don't give him an opportunity to get what he wants. Tell him he's being a prick and until he grows up you're not going to let him have his way or even be in the band (and search around for a temp or even permanant drummer.)
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#35
being somewhat manipulative myself... you have to fight fire with fire. stick to whatever you want to do and don't give in to him. whenever you make a decision, make sure the entire band agrees with you and when he tries to change things around, ask him things like "why do you want to change it?" and don't take "cause i think it's a good idea" for an answer. stand your ground and have your band back you up.

and lastly, grow a pair.
Quote by Scutchington
I like this guy, he's UG's Greek, and he just told your ass in two paragraphs. And I once spent 5 minutes watching his avatar.


A Brain Malfunction

We'll Never Admit As Defeat
#36
Having read your latest posts, I feel that you should find the right occasion to have a thorough preferably one on one discussion, no backing down when he gets emotional or unreasonable. Press on him until he accepts to have a reasonable conversation. At least that's what I'd want to do...

Tell him to act and express his opinion in clear view (if you see what I mean)
Quote by Pharoah
Can God create a hot dog so hot even he couldn't eat it?

Lyke omg D@ @p0OcpLpSYe.
Last edited by Kroach at Oct 4, 2007,
#37
Yeah I just need to stand my ground. I'm a non-confrontational person, I like things to get resolved with as little arguing as possible. As a result, I suck at arguing. But I just need to let things get a little heated and stick with what needs to happen.
We're only strays.
#38
When I first posted I did not fully read your other post about the drummer. Try being diplomamtic with the whole band; if 3 of 4 people want to do something with the drummer being against it tell him that the rest of the band likes it so get with the program. Sometimes a good kick in the rear end is what self indulgent people need. Stick up for yourself and ideas but do not allow yourself to get drawn into a war of words. If he keeps up the other band mates will likely grow tired of him as well and ask him to leave.
#39
Kick him out. It's not worth this hassle, especially when you're just starting out, it's enough stress without him acting like a mug. What's he gonna be like when you go on tour? Cancelling gigs because he can't be bothered?
#40
Quote by Kensai

Yeah seriously... fire. He sounds like that annoying kid that talks to you about stuff you don't care about while you just sit there and fantasize about stomping his face into a jar.


lmao

all too common unfortunately...

Anyway just make sure you don't sacrifice the whole band because of the drummer. If it comes down to it just bite the bullet and give him an ultimatum - grow up or leave. I know it takes a lot to stand up to someone you've been mates with for years and even more so to break out of the comfort zone of a band that isn't quite messed up enough to split up yet but could be saved with a decisive action. Good luck with it anyway.
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