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#3
...just to spoil the fun, in our household we have cold callers blocked.
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OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#4
have your friends yell "puff puff pass man. get with the drill!" or "hey where's my gun i thought i left it by my crackpipe?"
Quote by ShaunDiel
Listen to this man. His 2 ideas in five minutes have shat all over your serious ideas.
#5
i used to do it so i can now do it back..

ask them for their full name and home address

why

because they have yours when they shoudnt


or sound interested for a 30 minute sales call, then say you dont have any money
#7
I love saying funny **** to them. My favorite is to say "I'll buy one" of whatever they're selling and tell them to hold on while you get your credit card and then hang up.
Also the police station called for donations and said they'd love some money, so I said "well I don't have any money, but I'd love to give you some Dunkin' Donuts coupons!" Not original, but it was the best I had at the moment...
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#8
Quote by zzany1
i used to do it so i can now do it back..

ask them for their full name and home address

why

because they have yours when they shoudnt


or sound interested for a 30 minute sales call, then say you dont have any money



By the way, guy above me is a douche.
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#9
seinfeld it " Oh Im kinda busy can i get your njumber and ill call you at home. Oh, so you dont like ppl calling you at home? Now you konw how I feel."
If youve seen the episode youl know what i mean
R.I.P Samantha

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#10
be a complete ass wipe to them
"Then I saw that there was a way to hell, even from the gates of heaven."
-John Bunyan
#11
start making orgasm noises like UREH! OH BABY THAT'S IT BABY! Then say in a normal voice "hold on one minute...Then do the orgasm noises again lol.
#12
my frien picks up phone and calls hem rude names....like not alowed to be said on ug names....ya
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

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Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

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Viscara (my band)
#13
my favorite thing to do is:

*Ring*
Me: Hello?
TM: *blah blah blah*
Me: Really? well i would be more interested in cutting of my balls with broken glass than listen to this. So hows your day?
♫♪♪♫♪♪♫♪♪♫♪♪♫♪♪♫♪♪

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I vote thycrusader for 'The guy who hit the nail on the head'


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thycrusader = Thigh_Crusader
#16
Quote by mart_guitar
I don't know what to do when they call... what should i say to fool around?


dude pranks on telemarketers are mad weak, pizza guy pranks are where its at
gear

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PRS SE Custom
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Digitech Whammy
Dunlop ZW-45 Zakk Wylde Signature wah
#17
"hello"
"hey"
"So i'd like to interest you in..."
"so what are you wearing right now?"

Something like that lol
#18
When you hear what they're selling, tell them, "Sorry, I have to put you on hold for a minute." Cover the mouthpiece, then Rick Roll them.

It's interesting to see just how long they're willing to wait for your business.
Quote by Kai-7
You are the greatest. Wow. CaptainWow

Bumblebee of the Mighty Autobots. PM Kankuro to join.
UG Irish Clan - Póg mo thóin
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#20
Quote by ashtopov
seinfeld it " Oh Im kinda busy can i get your njumber and ill call you at home. Oh, so you dont like ppl calling you at home? Now you konw how I feel."
If youve seen the episode youl know what i mean

I remember that.
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#22
Quote by rage6945
dude pranks on telemarketers are mad weak, pizza guy pranks are where its at


I remember last year my friend learned how to voice call on his phone so he called the pizza guy and told him about his discovery. It was awesome because the pizza guy played along and kept a pretty decent conversation up.

Tell the telemarketers that they called the sexy panda club and try to convice them to get membership to it.
#23
just ask to be taken off their list.

there is also a site you can go to (run by the government) that will take you off every list, so if they DO call you, then you can sue them, which i think is way cooler than playing a dumb prank.
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#24
Quote by x_thurston_x
just ask to be taken off their list.

there is also a site you can go to (run by the government) that will take you off every list, so if they DO call you, then you can sue them, which i think is way cooler than playing a dumb prank.

Link plz?
Quote by Kai-7
You are the greatest. Wow. CaptainWow

Bumblebee of the Mighty Autobots. PM Kankuro to join.
UG Irish Clan - Póg mo thóin
Metals Fetishist of the"Please Sir, I want GORE" Club - UG Horror Fans and Gorehounds Unite!
#25
If they're trying to sell you double glazing, say you have no windows.
Trying to sell you a loan, say you have no house
Trying to sell you a phone, tell them you're deaf
etc. etc.
The possibilities are endless!
#26
Quote by zombie_monster
I remember last year my friend learned how to voice call on his phone so he called the pizza guy and told him about his discovery. It was awesome because the pizza guy played along and kept a pretty decent conversation up.

Tell the telemarketers that they called the sexy panda club and try to convice them to get membership to it.


no, not like that man, like answer the door with a couple other kids naked, have a mirror with lines of baking powder on it, someone lying on the floor passed out, stuff like that
gear

Fender Standard Tele (with kill-switch)
PRS SE Custom
Fender Hot Rod Deville
Boss DD-3 Delay
Boss GE-7 Eq
Boss DS-1 distortion
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff
Boss CS-3 Compression
Digitech Whammy
Dunlop ZW-45 Zakk Wylde Signature wah
#27
Quote by CaptainWow
Link plz?


https://www.donotcall.gov/
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#28
Quote by 7DaySkeptic
If they're trying to sell you double glazing, say you have no windows.
Trying to sell you a loan, say you have no house
Trying to sell you a phone, tell them you're deaf
etc. etc.
The possibilities are endless!



i had one where the woman was trying to sell double glazing and i said i didnt know where my windows were, and asked her to help me. she was so desperate for the sale, she was like 'do you have curtains...open them'
#29
Telemarketing jobs sound pretty awesome actually. The starting wages (in my area) for some telemarketers is $22 per hour! I'd put up with that kinda **** for that kinda money!
I've had Alzheimer's Disease for as long as I can remember.

Quote by damian_91
Pleasure2kill, you are a genius!
#30
Quote by x_thurston_x

Thank you very much.
Quote by Kai-7
You are the greatest. Wow. CaptainWow

Bumblebee of the Mighty Autobots. PM Kankuro to join.
UG Irish Clan - Póg mo thóin
Metals Fetishist of the"Please Sir, I want GORE" Club - UG Horror Fans and Gorehounds Unite!
#31
Quote by mart_guitar
some ppl say that their not allowed to hang up...is it true?



yes...tis true...not all of them, but some arent allowed to hang up.

Usually when they call i tell them to hold on for a second. I then turn my computer vumn as loud as it goes and put on the heaviest song i have. I think stick teh phone right up to teh speaker....or a talk to them for 10 minutes about random ****, personal details, etc.
#32
do ur best death metal scream right in the phone. im sure they'll get the picture

'08 Ibanez S5470 Prestige
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#34
Just tell them that who ever they ask for was killed in the last disaster that has occured, such as a hurrican or earthquake and then cry or hang up. Its great fun
Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond.
A nice little pond. It was clean. It was neat.
The water was warm. There was plenty to eat.
The turtles had everything turtles might need.
And they were all happy. Quite happy indeed.
#35
Try to sell stuff back to them.

"Hello, are you happy with your long distance phone provider?"
"No, are you happy with yours?"
Or
"Yes, but how would YOU like to buy some heavy-duty plastic cups?!"
#37
I've got a couple:

Guy: Hey, do you want good roofing service?
Me: can I ask you a quick question?
Guy: OKay
Me: Should I buy a dog?
Guy: I duno
Me: I'm afraid of the internet
Guy: WHat?
Me: You know, it's a series of tubes?
Guy: WHAT?!
Me: ITS A SERIES OF TUBES!
*click*

Lady: Can i talk to your grandparents?
Me: Actualy, I am the head of Colin Mochrie, and I'll grant you 3 wishes.
Lady: cAn I make my own 3 wishes?
Me: You do know who Colin Mochrie is right
Lady: Yeah
Me: No, actualy I was just going to Charge mah lazer.
Lady: Okay bai
*click*
I don't even shred
#38
Here's an example I had with a banking telemarketer

Me: Hello
Lady: Hi, this is Orange Mutual funds I-
Me: Do you guys sell, like, oranges?
Lady: Umm...
Me: I like orange flavored stuff, ya know, it's better than, like, grape
Lady: I'm sorry, I'll call back when Mr. and Mrs. are home.
Me: Don't you want to talk some more?
Lady: What?
Me:...................
Lady:...................
Me: So, how's it going?
Lady: (/click)
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