Yakult: The Man, The Myth, The Legend... Well, one out of three 'aint bad.

Page 1 of 10
#1
Dearest Pit,

My name is Yakult


If that's not enough to get your vote, I have prepared a short list of why people should vote for me:

Having served as UG president for the 2006 - 2007 period, I have instigated a whole host of changes to the way the site is run. Before I took over, the place was a mess. Paedophiles were lurking round every corner, and in every thread. Old ladies were being mugged en route to the Metal forum by roaming gangs of trolls and then having their pension money stolen, which, if you ask me, is a little harsh.

I'll add my campaign aims tomorrow, so stay tuned!

I'd like to take this moment to introduce my First Lady, cagnius:



We're very much in love.

The current staff:

General of EVERYTHING: MOTHERF*CKING JamieB PEOPLE
POPE of all things Yakult related: KENSAI
Commander in Beef: DAFT


Vice President: Rworsl
Secretary: Mistress_Ibanez
Secretary's Secretary: cabby
Scandal Officer (very much needed): Deliriumbassist
Head of Sexual Security (very important to be safe): glm
Head of Security: bequickorbedead

Duke Of Essex: treflip
Olive-skinned Foreign Bastard-child: H(i)SS
Security: Count Seanula and panterarocker andjoeymaxx
Leader of Pre-pubescent Schoolgirl Security: blackflag49
Head Fluffer (nude pictures secured this position): RageAgainst...
Fluffy Fluffer: rockownsyou
Presidential fluffer: element4433
Head of Smear Campaigns: flambe chicken
Janitor: Oasis-fanatic
White House Correspondent (aka BS Spreader) Pleasure2kill
Truth Knower: Cal UK
Official Presidential Groomer: -February-Star-

I will add more positions as the vacancies arrive, but anyone who wants to be on the team should post in the thread with their proposed title and I'll add them to the list. Anyone that makes a campaign poster will be added to my personal staff.

And last, but definitely not least...



MC YAKMAN feat. DJ SONIX - Greenhill Election
Listen, and learn why you need to VOTE YAKULT

Love,

Yakult
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██████████████████████
Last edited by Yakult at Oct 7, 2007,
#4
I'll be a security guard. *Stands still with arms folded attempting to look hard*
When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail



Quote by Duffman123
The first time I saw his name I thought it said cunt Seanula >_>

True story.
#5
You have my vote too

Can I be your fluffer? I have soft hands
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#8
*Kicks Yakult in the balls*

*runs away*
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#13
*catches meh! and gives Yakult an ultimatum "give me a job and I beat meh! to death otherwise meh! shall recieve my vote"*
When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail



Quote by Duffman123
The first time I saw his name I thought it said cunt Seanula >_>

True story.
#14
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
Awesome, can I be your secretary?


Hmm... You're not gay, but I suppose you'll do

I bought your uniform from Ann Summers, I hope you don't mind

Quote by Count Seanula
I'll be a security guard. *Stands still with arms folded attempting to look hard*


Quote by element4433
You have my vote too

Can I be your fluffer? I have soft hands


Quote by panterarocker
You have my vote. Can I be security?


Welcome to the team

Quote by HumanitysDeath
Oh dear.
It's time for all of this nonsense again?


Hell yeah!
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██████████████████████
#18
Awesome

Your one step closer to getting my vote


ESP LTD MH-350NT
Hughes & Kettner Switchblade 100
Orange PPC412AD
Seagull S6 Cedar Slim
Manuel Rodríguez C1M


Guitarist of Ravenage
Drummer of Windrider
Solo Project is Aloeswood
#19
i'd like to apply for the position of presidential fluffer

i've sent you my resume'...assuming that a folder full of nude pictures of myself "fluffing" is considered a resume' in this situation
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#20
Quote by Yakult
Welcome to the team
Yahh!!!!!


*grabs lube*
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#21
Got my vote.
<Dobzilla> because "when you were born, they thought yo' momma shit herself."
<Frehnchy> ...
<esther_mouse> ...
<Rankles> ...
<RaNdOm-FeLiX> ...
<Dobzilla>
#22
Quote by Yakult
Having served as UG president for the 2006 - 2007 period, I have instigated a whole host of changes to the way the site is run. Before I took over, the place was a mess. Paedophiles were lurking round every corner, and in every thread. Old ladies were being mugged en route to the Metal forum by roaming gangs of trolls and then having their pension money stolen, which, if you ask me, is a little harsh.


I IZ STEEL HEER


But will vote for you.
Last edited by thewho65 at Oct 6, 2007,
#23
You have my vote also. I want a job
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



▼▼▼▼▼▼
▼▼ ▲ ▲▼▼
▼▼▼▼
▲ ▲▲ ▲
#24
How much do we get paid?
When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail



Quote by Duffman123
The first time I saw his name I thought it said cunt Seanula >_>

True story.
#26
Haha can i be a security guard
I shall bring many votes to you, and can supply weapons such as heavy amps for much crushing, and volumous supplies of deadly alcoholic beverages

Last edited by philipisabeast at Oct 6, 2007,
#27
The rates of pay are very good (starting salary for £13k p/annum). I've also got a deal with Oxfam, so you can purchase any goods from their stores at 90% of the original price.

I'll add everyone else to the roster soon. I'm off out to do some flyering!
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██
████████████████████
██████████████████████
#29
Quote by Yakult
The rates of pay are very good (starting salary for £13k p/annum). I've also got a deal with Oxfam, so you can purchase any goods from their stores at 90% of the original price.

I'll add everyone else to the roster soon. I'm off out to do some flyering!

I Yakult *swoons*
When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail



Quote by Duffman123
The first time I saw his name I thought it said cunt Seanula >_>

True story.
#32
Quote by philipisabeast
Haha can i be a security guard
I shall bring many votes to you, and can supply weapons such as heavy amps for much crushing, and volumous supplies of dead alcoholic beverages



I have my Wangcaster...
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



▼▼▼▼▼▼
▼▼ ▲ ▲▼▼
▼▼▼▼
▲ ▲▲ ▲
#34
best song ever!!!!

if you need someone to miscount votes for your campaign (a la George Bush) look me up!

I also run smear campaigns...
Member of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

Last.fm
#36
ill vote for you


(If you return the favour)


<.<

>.>


I WAS TALKING ABOUT A JOB PEOPLEZ!1!
Quote by darkstar2466

I love you.


Quote by rabidguitarist

Can I be your adopted parent? I'd love you like a real son.


"Arguing over the internet is like the special olympics. No matter who wins, your both still retards." - A man of many muffins
#37
^^

NB: Yakult supports racism
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#38
Yak's got my vote.
Quote by jxljxl
Fais wins at life


The obscenely young leader of the Laney Cult


Member of the EHX Guild