#1
I'll be here

Maybe I'm wrong
But it feels so right
Talking to you on the phone last night
Laying in bed, fantasizing
The touch of your hand, so tantalizing
Just Know that I'll be here for you
A gaze into your eyes
Im drowning so deep
Not wanting to be saved
Feeling so complete
Thinking about your embrace
I get overjoyed
Though it might seem different
Your the love of my life
Don't know how I got by
Without you by my side
And though days come they can go by
You keep me grounded
You keep my head clear
Of any negative thoughts
I might overhear
Though some don't approve
I could care less what they say
Cause I can gurentee
They've never felt this way
About a person they love
A person they hold dear
So even if you leave me
I'll still be here (repeat 3x)
And thats hard for me to say
To let my guard down
But im hoping that
I'll forever have you around
I cant do without you
Trust me I've tried
But the love like mine for you
Can never be denied
So this is my song for you
And to let you know once more
I'll forever be here (repeat 2x)
#2
Are you writing this for someone? If so, good for you dude, hope it works out. Anyways, I think it's pretty good. I loooooved the first few lines, but from there it just went downhill, and the rhyming got pretty lame. I'm guessing you just thought of those first lines all of a sudden, and decided to write it down, and when you went to finish it, the rest didn't come out so well. That happens to me all the time. Try to seperate it into verses, chorus, etc, it's harder to critique without it. Try to keep the same rhyming pattern as you had in the beginning, that was REALLY good.
Your head slowly caves in from the compression