Roll the carpet into the vacuum room
So the fleas can’t breathe
And the backwards, sucking, distorted
Cries halt without beginning
And abrupt end.
Rolling paper balls like tumbleweeds
In a desert so spotlessly
Homely and desolate;
So comely and corduroy
It builds and implodes.
Rolled up magazines into the busted drain
Pipes to keep dirt and stones
From spoiling the impeccable
Linoleum; from water stains
To Doppler waves.
Nice flow, no idea what the meaning is, but I'm guessing you were going for that. Nice job.
Your head slowly caves in from the compression
it seems like your trying a little too hard to make the title strange... maybe just corduroy waves, or waves on the linoleum, or even linoleum waves. Altogether i think its a little too much
But the only strange part is corduroy waves...linoleum isn't strange...
Thank you for your opinion though.