Just a descriptive piece, I wanted to work on descriptive writing, I was inspired, and I wanted a mental break from my biology project. So here goes:

Although they try to hide, their bright orange exoskeleton gives them away, even among their brightly coloured companions. I hear them silently damn the obnoxious cat for giving their position away. I grab their packaging and rip it mercilessly open.

There they are.

Their processed tang, their addicting musk drifts up to my nose, passing through my olfactory epithelium, and resting my tongue, drawing me unstoppably further.

I pick one up. The tangy smell is accompanied by a smell of fear, but this is no deterrent from my appetite. I drop it in my mouth.

Screams of relentless pain translate in my ears to a satisfying crunch; the heavenly smell, a flavour like no other. I crave, intensely, for more. And I eat, until they are no more. My stomach is content, yet my tongue still wants more.

And flavour? That thing which so fulfills the taste, the true craving? It remains, in its purest form. The blood of my delicious victims still sticks to my fingers. I greedily lick it all, like a starved vagabond, until I have licked it all. It is finished, and I am satisfied.


If you wanna guess what it is, that'd be cool, but please don't just post to say I think its "cantaloupe lulz!!!1" (which it is not). I will, of course, crit back, just give me some time. Thanks!
I don't like the repetition of "lick it all".

Apart from that, it's very nice.

I dunno what they are... er... some kind of sweet?
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Yeah....... I don't really understand what it is. I realize you're eating this orange with that you're obsessed with, but... why? I just don't get it. It's well written though.
Your head slowly caves in from the compression
That's pretty interesting. But like Nutter said, the repeating of "lick it all" is kind of unneeded. Other than that it's pretty cool.

And I'm guessing you're talking about Cheetos?
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