#1
what can i do with my life?
how can i let the pain subside
these things are all in my mind
pick the peices till i find

THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE

all of the guys in our crew
do as i say not as i do
these titles taken on to me
now we got to believe

THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE MUST DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE

small solo

we take the stage
the daunting lights
we feel the pressure
start to get stage fright
we play the game
fourty minutes of pain
we finish the set
NOW there is nothing left


The first is the best in my life
i dont see the reason why
is it cause i feel the adrenaline at first
its like a sugar high or a hyper burst


THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE MUST DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE


also look at my others (my siggs)
Quote by bambi_slaughter

what sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender?
i dunno, i was to busy masturba ting.

Quote by maroon5mustdie
EVH. I saw him in concert. And his brother was seriously the worst bass player I've ever seen.

Quote by operation ktulu
if my guitar had a pussy, i would never leave my room
Last edited by MetallicSoul92 at Oct 11, 2007,
#3
Quote by MetallicSoul92
what can i do with my life?
how can i let the pain subside
these things are all in my mind
pick the peices till i find

Not bad, flow isn't all that great though.

THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE

Good, good flow, decent rhymes

all of the guys in our crew
do as i say not as i do
these titles taken on to me
now we got to believe

instead of saying "got to believe," try using have to or must, got isn't a very good word to use, or at least that many times

THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE

small solo

we take the stage
the daunting lights
we feel the pressure
start to get stage fright
we play the game
fourty minutes of pain
we finish the set
NOW there is nothing left

good, but change line 4 to something else like "get stage fright" or "we get stage fright." "start to" makes the flow worse'

The first is the best in my life
i dont see the reason why
is it cause i feel the adrenaline at first
its like a sugar high or a hyper burst

Nothing realy special, but it works. Everything about it is alright, but not good.

THE ONE IS THE ONE THAT I NEED!
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS BELIEVE
BUT THE PAIN OF THE LAST STILL SUBSIDES
NOW ALL I NEED TO DO IS SURVIVE


also look at my others (my siggs)


Pretty good, I can understand where you're going because it's hard rock, not much else makes this work. I get the meaning, but it's not very clear, and the rhymes for the most part are simple. Try using some better vocab to improve it.
Your head slowly caves in from the compression
#4
ok.

oo and ill let someone help me make this song if the can find out what im talking about!
Quote by bambi_slaughter

what sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender?
i dunno, i was to busy masturba ting.

Quote by maroon5mustdie
EVH. I saw him in concert. And his brother was seriously the worst bass player I've ever seen.

Quote by operation ktulu
if my guitar had a pussy, i would never leave my room