#1
so in your guys opinion when you go to an interview what do you usually say that you think will land you the job? i need some advice for me and a friend
#3
just answer every question truthfully. It's also good to mention that you come on time and do what you're told.
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#4
"anything goes"
Quote by Stephen Colbert
Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Is it odd that I get an erection every time RageAgainst... posts?

President of "Colbert Nation "
#5
you have a 280 iq and lived in columbia running a cocaine smuggling business for 5 years after you got out of harvard (you got P.h.D. in political science there)
#6
are you and the friend interviewing together? that's a bad idea, don't let the employer know you're friends. basically just try to come off as a genuine, nice, hardworking person. don't be a suck- up.
#7
be confident, talk about ur strengths. dont say **** like "ya i think i'm kinda good at this" or something, say, "well i'm very experienced at blah blah blah", firm handshake, look'em in the eye, stuff like that. there isn't one or two things that u can say that will land you a job, it's the impression you make throughout the whole interview...just curious but wat job is it for?
Traynor YCV50 Blue
epi les paul w/ SD Alnico II pros
Dunlop Slash Wah
EH Deluxe Memory Boy
Moen Jimi Vibe
Danelectro Cool Cat Fuzz
Zvex Vexter Fuzz Factory
VHT 2x12 w/ V30's
#8
If you've had previous jobs that you didn't like, don't tell them that you didn't like the job. Don't complain about previous bosses.

Also, just be yourself. If it's obvious that you're pandering to the interviewer, they can be offended.
#10
k first off u need to show your potential employer you are witty and intelligent- i suggest doing this by writing your resume in invisible ink (google to see how), and by handing your interviewer a lemon wedge as you sit down.

then you need to show confidence. i think one phrase will do this; simply say you're "bigger than jesus"

lastly, you want to show you arent a pushover. use comments like "dontcha worray bout'it" and "me and vinny will handle them bastad's", in response to rhetorical job emergency questions.

congrats on your new position
#12
if you get the job, tell him that you will cut out his eyes if he doesn't let you play bass, drink beer and smoke dope all day
kill 'em a lot
#13
don't be modest about anything, talk as if your the best at what your applying for.
#17
Anything that implies that you have good work ethic.

Unless you don't have good work ethic. Then that would be lying.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#18
Quote by civildp1
just answer every question truthfully. It's also good to mention that you come on time and do what you're told.



Yeah thats good if you are going for a position as a bdsm slave/hooker
#19
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Interviewer-"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

You-"Doing your wife"



Don't say doin your wife, don't say doin your wife, don't say doin your wife

Doin your.........son?
#20
It's not only in what you say, it's in the way you say it and in the way you present yourself as the perfect candidate for that position. The job interview process is not that difficult, but if you take everything for granted, you won't get it right either.
#21
Quote by civildp1
just answer every question truthfully. It's also good to mention that you come on time and do what you're told.

If you're being interviewed by this woman, yes it is.
"Is it an ambulance? Is he Philip Larkin? So much power in so few words."
~The Observer

"A transcendant terrestris, a timeless behemoth, trapped like Sisyphus in the cyclical burden of his own genius."
~The Sun

"His a cant."
~The Independent
#22
Its important to let the employer know what sets you apart from the competition, tell them what you bring to the company, and let them know if they hire you they will have a dependable, diligent, honest worker on their hands.

Of course dress for success, and be prepared, have copies of a resume on hand, as well as any information you would like to present, awards, certifications.
Quote by el-ECTRO
you again


damn i could've done a much better response for ntchode 'Owner of UGs hugest penis'
#25
Go through the interview in falsetto.
I don't even shred
#26
start the interview by saying "hello, my name is xxxxxx and I'm narcoleptic" then pretend to be asleep for a few hours

If they ask "where do you see yourself in x years?" say one of the following

in your job
in your wife
going on a rampage and killing everyone in this place
Founder of the "Foundation to replace Jacob's stolen phone foundation of America" PM me to contribute to this noble cause, no donation is too small, or large for that matter
#27
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
You: "Celebrating the 5th year anniversary of you asking me that question!"

I: "Who should we call in an emergency?"
U: "The police. What would my pothead friends or alcoholic father do?"

I: "Nearest relative?"
U: "25 miles.""

etc. etc.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#29
"Damn i'm good. All those other people you interview? They don't have **** on me."

coincidentally damn im good also works for a CV
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#30
Alternate between shrieks and whispers when answering questions. Also answer all questions only in the language of a crow.
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#31
Quote by mud
If you're being interviewed by this woman, yes it is.


Oh, I didn't need to see that.

EDIT: AAAH! THERE SHE IS AGAIN!

In all seriousness, answer the questions truthfully. Don't go on for ages, but don't hold back. Body language is important, don't close up on the interviewer but don't slouch on the chair.
Quote by its_alive
rich_sg, I promote you to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. of the Pit. way to speak your opinion.


Quote by ErnieBallfists
RICH_SG you are a filthy person for accusing me of dirty trolling , you are a stiff coconut