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#1
Did I mention I have the best sexual predator face here?





Oi Oi fellow punk regulars.

Oi! to the Herberts

Oi! to the Teds

I hate the Vandals

I want them dead

Instead of writing a long speech, I will post a collection of classic brian quotes from over the years (almost five years, wow!)

The advantage is, you don't get huge chunks of paragraphs, and this thing won't freeze when I hit submit.

So here we go.
Last edited by BrianApocalypse at Oct 8, 2007,
#2
not yet brian!
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#4


Good comedy sketch you have going on there you two.
Quote by Mia (Pulp Fiction)
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh*t in order to be comfortable?

That's when you know you found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute, and comfortably share silence.

RateYourMusic
#5
God, my last post is so 'that's what she said' worthy.

I won't close this but I was expecting these threads to pop up a few days from now is all. Hah.
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#6
Okay, I'll let sleeping lions lie and continue my story when, as the partisans once said, the time was right.
#8
Brian, I'm sure you'll have the punk forum's vote without even campaigning.

The other candidates don't care about p0nX!
I'm the type of nigga that's built to last
If you fuck with me, I'll put my foot in your ass
See, I don't give a fuck cause I keep bailin
Yo, what the fuck are they yellin?!


GANGSTA, GANGSTA
#9
wait wait wait Brian you said Oi alot in that first post...are you in an Oi! band?!?!?!?!
Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to deceive themselves-Eric Hoffer

Quote by GannonBracewell

CBGB wants to be famous like the others such as Green Day and Offspring. They don't want to be a underground punk band.
#10
Quote by BostonLacrosse
wait wait wait Brian you said Oi alot in that first post...are you in an Oi! band?!?!?!?!


No, he sold out and joined an 'indie' band.
...

*hopes noone listens to my band in my profile*
Super Leeds and Classy Cas!
#13
no just his left nut
Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to deceive themselves-Eric Hoffer

Quote by GannonBracewell

CBGB wants to be famous like the others such as Green Day and Offspring. They don't want to be a underground punk band.
#14
Chapter One: Our story begins.

My name is BrianApocalypse (aka Johnny “Mat Smith” Skullfück), and I grew up in Bromley, which is only ten miles from the historic capital of punk – the imperial city of London town.

Bromley was an important place for the 70’s music scene that brought around punk.

Famous Bromley natives that you might of heard of include: David Bowie, Topper Headon, and the Bromley Contingent – most notably Billy Idol and Siouxie Sioux.

Moral of the story: Brian has punk roots.
#15
Did you know? #2318
BrianApocalypse is a well qualified for the position. Former winner of six punk forum awards, and runner up in every category, The Shaz, as he is affectionately known by some, looks set to storm next year's awards.
#16
You may have read Sargasm's statement. My thoughts?

---------

-I've been here longer than those other douchebags (unless David runs, but who cares about him)

I've been a member of UG about six months longer than Sargasm.

-I'm not that much of a queer

I'm less of a queer, but more of a slut than Sargasm, and sluts are good, so vote for me.

-I put out

I put down.

Kong trousers fit me well

Trousers aren't punk anyway. Up the kilts!

-I started the ORIGINAL punk chat before most of you nubs were even here

I started the punk presidential awards, the punk awards, the punk objects thread (for those that remember it). Plus of course I don't discriminate based on signup date, which makes me the people's man, as as we all know, it's all about the people.

I didn't start *-) but it wasn't cool until I started doing it

I'm too punk for that particular emoticon. I simply don't need the punk points.

-I LOVE YOU ALL!

Not only do I love everyone all more than you, I'm more loved, and covet the "most loved" award.

-I found you guys topless pics of Debbie Harry

Debbie Harry's tats are crap anyway. I found you guys articles on how nevermind the bollocks was recorded, the complete punk years on youtube, and linked individually, I found NMTB classic albums in full and linked individually. I could go on and on.

-Did I mention I love you all?

Yes. Your long term memory is appalling.

-I'm like, really really rediculously good looking

I'm ugly, plus one punk point to the Skulf.

-BrianApocolypse can be kind of a dick sometimes (only joking, I wuv you brian)[

Sargasm can't even get his worthy opponent's name right, because he can't spell for Toffee. Besides, there's always room for a dick!
#17
Streetlight?

Quote by StreetLight3989


This is a tr00 punx cookie.


Quote by BrianApocalypse
What, a spotty mick jones lookalike with a piece of ravioli?
#20
Quote by ss311
You two make me laugh



nice sig
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#23
Quote by waterproofpie
nice sig
Same to you
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#25
Brian picks holes in SS311's campaign speech.

I actually understand how various political systems work.

So what? It's not difficult.

I achieved an almost perfectly score for my 'AS' Politics Exam.

I achieved an almost pass for my 'AS' Politics Exam. True punk.

I represent the majority of you here; we're pathetic losers who are voting for people based on sucking up.

I represent the arrogant punk superstar. We're pathetic losers who compensate by living on the internet.

My electoral campaign is the least pretentious of them all.

My electoral campaign is the most pretentious of them all. Just like Rotten, Bowie et al.

I can actually spell and my grammar is almost always of a legible standard.

I'm just as good, if not better.

You didn't expect me to run. You don't expect me to succeed. You don't expect me to do a good job if elected. I have already proved you wrong on the first point. Let me prove you wrong on all the other points as well.

You expected me to run. You expect me to suceed. You don't expect me to do a good job if elected. I have already proved myself right. Let me prove you right on the other points as well.

I will ban homosexuality and heterosexuality. We shall all be sexual people.

I will ban sexuality, because sex is boring hippy ****.

I shall appoint Ministers to form my Cabinet. Without Ministers, this government will not run. Need I add that if you vote and campaign for me, you're within a chance of becoming a Minister(You could say so in your sig).

I will be a democratically elected autocrat, and award punk points to good citizens

I am honest. I want power. I want reputation. I want to implement my vision of a new punk forum. A forum where n00bs and Green Day loving prats are dismissed with ease.

I AM your President.


I am honest, I want more power and reputation. I love this forum and therefore don't want to change it, because we know that change means ruin. I want to sustain the very thing I love.

I AM your president.

Thank you please.
#27
Picking holes in Brian's intestines.

Brian is so insecure with his own policies that he feels the need to dissect everyone else's.

He's a bit rubbish.

My grammar is obviously superior to his.

He plays pretentious, progressive hippy music, a la Hendrix.

I am his favourite punk forum poster, so what does that tell you.

That said, he is also my favourite.

Vote Brian!

(reverse psychology on the last two )


That BrianApocalypse... I hear he abuses animals and attends Bilderberg.
Last edited by ss311 at Oct 9, 2007,
#28
Picking holes in Brian's intestines.

Brian is so insecure with his own policies that he feels the need to dissect everyone else's.


* Hits Sam with trans blue Les Paul *

He's a bit rubbish.

My grammar is obviously superior to his.


* hits Sam with trans Blonde Les Paul that he doesn't have *

He plays pretentious, progressive hippy music, a la Hendrix.

I don't like Henrix. I like the Tull

I am his favourite punk forum poster, so what does that tell you.

No, I've gone off you. I like original=punk and Superblob now.

That said, he is also my favourite. Vote Brian!

And don't forget that, Sam fans.

That BrianApocalypse... I hear he abuses animals and attends Bilderberg.

I also sell my ass for money to sailors.
#30
BrianApocalypse is the working man's working man.

He works as a Butcher at holidays to fund his education and buys guitars instead.

He's going to train as a butcher, and get £8 an hour to sharpen knives and sell old people steak.

The greatest cockney rip off.

Did I meantion Brian is more geographically cockney than Sham 69?

Vote Brain.
#34
Nope.

Check out the sig with the campaign motto.

It has to be one of the wittiest and least obvious slogans of all time.
#36
Typical.

I can't turn a girl on in person by talking, but I can get boys on the internet randy by typing.

God damn
#37
Quote by BrianApocalypse
Typical.

I can't turn a girl on in person by talking, but I can get boys on the internet randy by typing.

God damn


I know your pain. Cept I'm not sure I could make internet boys randy...actually, I probably could.
Super Leeds and Classy Cas!
#38
Soup-Is-Good-Food-erBlob. Bettering everyone else all day long.

Don't worry Brian. At least you turn SOMEone on.
FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!
#39
That picture of Paul Simonon gave me wet panties, and it sure wasn't simonon that did it.

I said "OMG what an old man" and spilt coke over my crotch.
#40
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
Last edited by axeslash at Oct 9, 2007,
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