#1
Hey, could do with some constructive critism

Thanks in advance.


You’re in my blood
You’re in my system
You’re the thing I need the most
You’re taking over
You’re shutting me down
Getting closer to the end of the rope

Throw me out
Take what was mine
Bit by bit hunt be down
Try and take me over

Time and time I dream of you
But you’ve got under my skin

Please lets not throw this away
I want you but I hate the itch
You’re not killing us off
Please lets not throw this away
I want you but I hate the itch
You’re not killing us off

You think you’re special
A disease I can’t withstand
I wont bow to you
We’ll fight till the end
Cos you’re not the thing I fear the most

Time and time I dream of you
But you’ve got under my skin

Please lets not throw this away
I want you but I hate the itch
You’re not killing us off
Please lets not throw this away
I want you but I hate the itch
You’re not killing us off
Gear List

Guitars
PRS SE Tremonti
Ltd Mh-100qmnt
Peavey Rotor ex
Crafter Acoustic

Amps
Bugera 333
Bugera 412h

Effects
Marshall Shredmaster
Line 6 MM4
Line 6 DL4
Ibanez Weeping Demon
Dan Electro Fish'n'chips
Ibanez LU-10
#2
i like the concept

one thing though is the chorus
maybe somthing like this instead

Please let's not throw this away
Please don't keep me suspended this way
Please let's not throw this away
I can't take the feeling
cant take the pain
when theres you
only you to gain

?

something like that?
Quote by yawn
It just occurred to me that UG attracts a lot of socially isolated male teenagers with questionable psychological dispositions.


Quote by I'm_Guitarded
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Whip and Chains Excite Me!!



Got'em!
#3
Yeah, I always thought the chorus was the weakest part, didnt have that natural rhythm, i like yours though i'll do some blending
Gear List

Guitars
PRS SE Tremonti
Ltd Mh-100qmnt
Peavey Rotor ex
Crafter Acoustic

Amps
Bugera 333
Bugera 412h

Effects
Marshall Shredmaster
Line 6 MM4
Line 6 DL4
Ibanez Weeping Demon
Dan Electro Fish'n'chips
Ibanez LU-10
Last edited by Gwynnell at Oct 9, 2007,