#1
Hi,
this is the first verse of my song, it's a folk song that I'm working on. More to come if I find that I recieve any responses. Comments and criticisms alike are very much thanked for, and my work IS copyrighted

My love is waiting beside the calm sea
She wrapped in Winter's cold desert air;
Under the moonlight she calls out to me
As the wind blows in her lilac hair.
. And sir Ecstasy strings together the hours;
. And she and I, we dream and bathe in earthly showers.
The world will fade when our lips meet
To cast away the sand crawling under our feet.

These are the first two lines of the second verse, some comments on these would be nice too:

Life has long hidden my soul in mountains
With roads that wander more than they lead.......

So again, comments and criticism are very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
#2
Seems pretty nice, love the last sentence of the 2nd verse "With roads that wander more than they lead".

But if you have:
. And sir Ecstasy strings together the hours;
. And she and I, we dream and bathe in earthly showers.

I would scratch the 2nd "And". So it would just be:
. And sir Ecstasy strings together the hours;
. she and I, we dream and bathe in earthly showers.

But that's just me
#4
^ thank you, jeff buckley has had a huge influence on me, the talent he had was unbelievable, almost superhuman.

As for the line 'and she and I', for now I think I'll keep it, but you gave me an idea that I'll look into, I might reword those two lines later on. Thanks for your thoughts, and thanks for the comments.
#5
yeah buckley was an amazing lyricist and guitarist,"nightmares by the sea" one of my fav's .