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#1
1) Any successful campaign must include the promise of a range of BrianApocalypse action figures.

2) Tell the electorate what they want to hear.

3) Dismiss opponents as being 'too ideological'.

4) Moan about metal and trU p0nx!

5) A strong, catchy slogan.

6) Nazi punks F*** Off.

7) Being gayer than sargasm and BrianApocalypse is always a plus because at the moment they're beating us all at that.

8) Refer to the above seven clauses and take them in.

9) Refer to clause 8.

10) There is no clause ten.


Help me out please. Go from clause 11 and upwards.
#3
Clause 12: Aim to destroy steamrollers to avoid any more tragic accidents
FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!
#5
Clause 13: Ignore the entire election and put "UG Punk Forum President" in your sig anyway
Quote by CowsWithGuns
And the facade of heterosexualism in the punk and ska forum came crashing down like a fat girl falling off a balcony...
#7
Quote by CowsWithGuns
And the facade of heterosexualism in the punk and ska forum came crashing down like a fat girl falling off a balcony...
#9
Quote by ss311
7) Being gayer than sargasm and BrianApocalypse is always a plus because at the moment they're beating us all at that.


Oh no there not.

I've been gayin' up the ponx before any of them looked at a penis and thought "hmmm, that looks rather interesting."

16. The more baseless and depraved your mudslinging is, the more punx it is.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#13
Quote by original=punk
now ****ing way i'm not gayer than anyone here.

17: threaten to kill small animals
Looks like we're going to need to have a "gay off" to see who's gayer.

I'll start: one time I hit on a chick and it turns out they she was actually a guy. I didn't stop.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#14
Quote by axeslash
Looks like we're going to need to have a "gay off" to see who's gayer.

I'll start: one time I hit on a chick and it turns out they she was actually a guy. I didn't stop.



i sucked a guys dick once
#15
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#16
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.
Do you have a band aid?


Because I scraped my knee when I fell for you
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#17
Quote by axeslash
Looks like we're going to need to have a "gay off" to see who's gayer.

I'll start: one time I hit on a chick and it turns out they she was actually a guy. I didn't stop.


Alright! Looks like there's only one way to settle this;

You guys are gonna have to slap your dicks together until one of you cries like a girl.

And then the loser, has to sing the spartn theme song, with my dick, in their mouth.

Kinda like this... Bluurghdy bluuuurghd bluurgh blurgh bluuuurghdy blurgh blurgh blurgh.

I'm not guy.
Posers are like punks, except they do it for fashion

notUG PUNK FORUM PRESIDENT!
#18
Quote by element4433
Do you have a band aid?


Because I scraped my knee when I fell for you


I'm going to remember that.

Although my preferred chat up line is at gigs, there's always a 14 year old girl with a relative. I go up and say "will you marry me?"

Regardless of the outcome, the relative gets REALLY REALLY pissed off. Seriously, it's so funny.

Or if some guy is hasslin' a girl that I don't know, and she's not interested, I lurk around, and whenever the guy says things like "can I buy you a drink", I say things like "lucky girl", or "only if I'm having sloppy seconds".

Depending on the girl, they either both get pissed off, or the guy storms off and everyone present has a good giggle.
#19
^ That happens to me sometimes
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#20
What some bastard rips on you for wanting to pull a lass, or you do the fun poking?

A good trick for going out is to not be in the mood for getting your twanger plucked.

Last time I did that I almost got molested by three girls. Luckily I told them I wasn't interested.
#21
Quote by StaggHound
Alright! Looks like there's only one way to settle this;

You guys are gonna have to slap your dicks together until one of you cries like a girl.

And then the loser, has to sing the spartn theme song, with my dick, in their mouth.

Kinda like this... Bluurghdy bluuuurghd bluurgh blurgh bluuuurghdy blurgh blurgh blurgh.

I'm not guy.

It's Stagghound, sir. He's been yanking our dicks and it's... killing our morale.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#22
Quote by original=punk
i sucked a guys dick once

I sucked 37 dicks.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#24
Quote by sargasm
I've sucked all the dicks. All of them.

That makes you a pedophile.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#25
little boy dicks don't count as dicks.

Neither do tiny adult ones. You can't get me near those.
#27
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.

Err...waterproofpie is the...hot p0nx?


FUCK YOU! GET PUMPED!
#28
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.

waterproofpie's a cutie, even if she does think 18 comes after 19.
#29
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.


Can I get a map? I'm lost in your eyes!
-"Sunny Jane" '04 MIM Sunburst Fender Tele. DD HB102(n)
-"Sapphire" Indie Tribal Extreme
-"Joy" Vintage 1100N Acoustic
-"Booty" Black Squier Jazz Bass
Traynor YCS50 1x12 (V30 Speaker)
Mark Bass Little Mk II
1x15 bass cab
#30
Quote by axeslash
It's Stagghound, sir. He's been yanking our dicks and it's... killing our morale.


I said "no homo."

So it's cool.
Posers are like punks, except they do it for fashion

notUG PUNK FORUM PRESIDENT!
#31
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.
Are your legs tired?


Cuz you've been running through my mind all day
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#32
Quote by sargasm
little boy dicks don't count as dicks.

Neither do tiny adult ones. You can't get me near those.

That still makes you a chubby chaser, an old guy fetishist, you have jungle fever, yellow fever, and any other psuedo-racist name for a sexual attraction to various minorities.
Journalism is just a gun. It's only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that's all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
#33
Quote by neidnarb11890
waterproofpie's a cutie, even if she does think 18 comes after 19.



I ****ing love your sig xDDD
#34
Quote by sargasm
I've sucked all the dicks. All of them.



36!?


(*waits for someone to get it*)
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#35
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.

do you have any rope? because i'd like to tie you up and rape the **** out of you.


....


....


ahem, well that was awkward..
And clenching your fist for the ones like us
Who are oppressed by the figures of beauty,
You fixed yourself, you said, "Well, never mind,
We are ugly, but we have the music."
#36
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.



is your father a terrorist? cause you're THE BOMB.


excuse me, i think i dropped something...MY JAW


i lost my number, can i have yours?
#37
Quote by waterproofpie
clause 18: hit on mods convientally come voting time.


jus' sayin'.
Are you a thief?


Cuz you stole my heart
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#38
Dear Christina,

I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes!


Love,

yeahyeah
Quote by CowsWithGuns
And the facade of heterosexualism in the punk and ska forum came crashing down like a fat girl falling off a balcony...
#39
^You don't know how to flirt with 16 year old girls, do you?
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#40
whatcha talkin about? it works every time
Quote by CowsWithGuns
And the facade of heterosexualism in the punk and ska forum came crashing down like a fat girl falling off a balcony...
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