#1
molded from clay, the heart is weak,
branded with a name, no one can speak,
you were my first, but not my last,
love goes on, and curses crash,

I wish I could show you what you've done to me,
I wish I could hear how loud you scream,
and bury those tears of yours in gasoline,
to burn them with the promises you've made to me,

hope fails when glory falls,
the time's nailed into the wall,
escape the veil,
and then you'll see,
this shallow black heart that you gave me,

I wish I could show you what you've done to me,
I wish I could hear how loud you scream,
and bury those tears of yours in gasoline,
to burn them with the promises you've made to me,

eyes drawn red, can't get this out of my head,
that you once said, forever,
now you are tasting your lies,
infesting my head,
with those memories,
knowing they would only subside,
taking it instead,
of just giving up,
leaving me with no where to die,
i'm placing my bed on the grave,
of the tears in which i have cried,
for you
#2
Very good. I'd just change the first rhyme of the last section "eyes drawn red, can't get this out of my head." It's too cliche and simple. Other than that I think it's great.
Your head slowly caves in from the compression