#1
Ok this is the first song that i put here....
My influence is from Liknin Park. ^_^
If you know thier flows... you will read this song correctly.


Name: Hard Life

Verse 1:
Look what you did,
you make me cry.
i never thought
i'd want to die.
Look at me now
i dont know what to do.
you broke my heart
so ill broke something-of-you.

Pro-Chorse:
Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont be surprised if it'll crash on you!

Chorse:
again in the night
i cry to myself
always thinking
why me, you left
it wasn't my falt
but i wont regret
if i do to myself
things that you hate

Verse 2:
we had good time's
we loved each other
now we just friends
i dont want to cover
all the things we did
i want to forget
i cant i cant
i just cant

Pro-Chorse:
Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont be surprised if it'll crash on you!

Chorse:
again in the night
i cry to myself
always thinking
why me, you left
it wasn't my falt
but i wont regret
if i do to myself
things i hate

Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont surprised if it'll crash on you!
now i know that
life is just a game.
where you can succeed
or fail....

~~~
Hope you liked it ^^
Please Comment :P
Last edited by SexoKat at Oct 10, 2007,
#5
Name: Hard Life

Verse 1:
Look what you did,
you make me cry.
i never thought
i'd want to die.
Look at me now
i dont know what to do.
you broke my heart
so ill broke something-of-you.

nothing special, the flow is ok and the rhythm is decent, nothing really stands out man,

Pro-Chorse:
Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont be surprised if it'll crash on you!

first thing i would say are the line breaks are bad, and the rhythm here isnt all that great, seems like an emo type song?

Chorse:
again in the night
i cry to myself
always thinking
why me, you left
it wasn't my falt
but i wont regret
if i do to myself
things that you hate

again bad line breaks, it sounds choppy and odd, and other then that nothing really stands out,

Verse 2:
we had good time's
we loved each other
now we just friends
i dont want to cover
all the things we did
i want to forget
i cant i cant
i just cant

i dont really like this verse at all, sorry, flow is kinda poor, and the rhythm pattern is not that good either, just try changing it around a bit, just to make it flow better, but you seem to have a nice idea of what your trying to say, which is good.

Pro-Chorse:
Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont be surprised if it'll crash on you!

same as other crit, expect iam not a fan of repeated verse, a chorus is fine to repeat but i wouldnt do it much more man,

Chorse:
again in the night
i cry to myself
always thinking
why me, you left
it wasn't my falt
but i wont regret
if i do to myself
things i hate

Life isn't gonna give you
what you want so-so
do what you need to do and
dont surprised if it'll crash on you!
now i know that
life is just a game.
where you can succeed
or fail....

ending is kinda bland,

overall i didnt like to to much, but there where some things you can work on to make it better, you had nice thoughts the but the devilry was off, and i get the linkin park thing,but it seems like you just pretty much copied theres and put in your own lyrics, which takes away from it alot, but forget about the line breaks, cuz i that what you where going for i guess. crit mine maybe when the futures gone
Last edited by Greg_23 at Oct 10, 2007,