#1
I normally wouldn't do this, but I really want help to make this one better. This was actually my first song (It's been fixed up a couple time) and while I am happy with it, I think it could be better. So I'd really appreciate the help. Thanks in advance.

P.S I'll talk about the meaning later.


Nostalgic Road

V1:
I remember walkin'
That deserted city way,
On my back, I was haulin' a load
It forms a cross with lonely street
Oh that I know for sure.
I was walkin' 'way my triumphs
Here on Nostalgic Road

V2:
I remember walkin'
Down the lonely avenue
It was so much longer then
I was hoping it was just a lie
The party was long gone
The lights and music have gone out
It was brighter here with friends

Chorus:
It's halfway to nowhere
Where the old is now new
When standing at the crossroads
What will you do?
The more I see, the less I learn
The longer I stay more bridges I burn
Livin' by my own legal code
Here on Nostalgic Road

V3:
I remember sittin'
In the burned out basement
This hell I am bestowed
Playing records on the record machine
Remind me of days gone
No more of what existed
Here on Nostalgic Road

V4:
I remember lyin'
in that empty bed of mine.
Thinking about what I've lost
It was so damn much,
But yet it was so little
All my love was in vain
Damn, it was such a cost

(Chorus)

V5
I remember smilin'
As I left that road
I didn't feel much loss, no more
If I wanted I could find it again
Oh this I know for sure
Fred Astaire's still dancing'
There on Nostalgic Road!
#2
I really like this. Pretty simple vocab and structure for the most part, but it definitely works. It strikes me as kind of Springsteen-esque; even if you don't like him, I mean that as a compliment. The only line I thought sounded out of place was "this hell i am bestowed." It doesn't really fit with the old school, rootsy feel of the rest of the song.

Check mine out if you get a chance?
#3
Whether this applies or not, it reminds me of the On the Road by Jack Kerouac...I may crit this some more later, but I'm kind of tired and don't have a lot of focus.

Gear:
Partscaster/Tele into a bunch of pedals, a Maz 18 head, and a Z Best cab.
#5
Quote by SilenceEvolves
dude you stole my name that's weird.



Really? That is weird.

Well, the idea song came to me when I was riding home from Kentucky after spreading my Grandfather's ashes there. The second I got home, I wrote down the basis of the song with a simple G, Em, D progression with a C thrown in for color at times. My new band recorded the song the next day (It sucked) and it was shelved for a while. Then I re-wrote the lyrics and now my drummer (Our main lyricisit) thinks it's one of our best lyrically.

It's mainly about the isolation I feel from today's culture, because I'm not a fan of a lot of stuff that's around today.

The first verse of the new lyrics was written when I was walking to a former friend's house for the first time and I was recalling the last time I made that walk when she told me that we weren't friends anymore.
Last edited by C_Miller at Oct 11, 2007,