#1
Stumbling lost trying to find the right path,
I followed my reflection to the bottom of my glass.
God was standing there - he was waiting for me,
he said "chin up kid, nothing comes for free".
I'm running short on money, hell we're running short on faith,
we're working every hour of every god damn day.
we never see the good things till theyre already gone,
We're tiny little fishies in a big ****ing pond, alright!

rusty suits and ladies stuck in worn down dusty ways
countless faceless people star in their own matinees
and back when life was sunny, he swore he'd wait for me
but im much to old for romance, and its too late to believe, alright

I know the ins and outs of every bar in this town,
every jukebox playing some forgotten little band.
every cigarette, every double, necked down,
whilst dreamers let their pipedreams simply take them by the hand.
glittering like gold, solely to entice,
ambitions just a euphemism for "fools paradise",
and every bloody whiskey advocating apathy,
If all the worlds a stage, this ones a comedy, alright

rusty suits and ladies stuck in worn down dusty ways
countless faceless people star in their own matinees
and back when life was sunny, he swore he'd wait for me
but im a tiny little fishy and its much to late for me alright

-------------------------------

This is an old one, I posted it before but I've rewritten and added a chorus. Its about losing the innocence of youth and the general apathy that prevails once you discover mortgages, 9-5's and alcohol.

crit4crit you know the score
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#2
Ooh just wanted to say- the part in brackets is actually part of the song title not a question!
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#3
Brilliant. Kind of reminds me of like a bob dylan, or neil young type tune. I love the way you paint the picture of everything. Good Job. I like the way you write.
Matt M vocals/rhythm guitar
Scarlett Mojo
www.myspace.com/scarlettmojo

09 Gibson Les Paul Traditional
98 Gibson Les Paul Studio
01 Taylor 310ce
#4
Gr8 . I liked verses more than chorus . Some of the lines really hit you. I'll make sure that i read ur stuff from now on.

Hi
#5
Quote by damn-right!
rusty suits and ladies stuck in worn down dusty ways
countless faceless people star in their own matinees
and back when life was sunny, he swore he'd wait for me
but im much to old for romance, and its too late to believe, alright


Perfect ESPECIALLY the last line.

I also really liked the line about the pipedreams. This piece had its ups and downs, mostly ups though- a lot of hard-hitting stuff. Always a pleasure to read some of your writing. Sorry this is so brief, I'm half asleep and half dead right now + work in the morning .
#6
um i just wanted to say on the first verse you rhymed me and free like as a aa bb rhyme then in the 2nd verse you did a abab rhyme type thing. I'm not the greatest writer but thats my opinion. That's the only problem i have with it otherwise great song.