#1
I must confess, since
You b******ized our friendship,
I despise your attitude
And inflated ego towards me.
What do you have to gain
From your prided, useless, advice-giving?
My relationships have meaning.
(You are dead to me.)

Your superbia does not
Impress me one bit.
Things that you do
Don't complement your wit.
Objects of desire
Cloud and shroud your vision;
Why do you think I
Came to this decision?

(Come on, ************,)
Use me for your amusement.

Someday, From the
inside out, Your exterior will
Kill someone. I refuse to
Stick around and be
Part of your blame.
You act like nothing happened,
So don't lean on me.
(Your crutch is broken.)

No matter how hard I try
I can't seem to get
All the anger outside.
Sorrow has already
Flashed before my eyes,
Regret shall I deny.
The time for retribution is nigh!

(Use me.
Ignore me.
Use me.
Hate me.)
"Music is an expression. Not competition." ~ Woe, Is Me

Guitar
ESP LTD Viper 400

Amp
Orange Crush 35LDX
#2
you win! i typed metalcore into serch bar and looked for the first S+L to come up and yours won, so im gonna crit it.
Quote by Thebiz
I must confess, since
You b******ized our friendship,
what is the is the word? baterdized? bitchized? i dont get it
I despise your attitude
And inflated ego towards me.
can you have an ego towards something? i know you can have itir about yourself... but i unno?
What do you have to gain
From your prided, useless, advice-giving?
My relationships have meaning.
(You are dead to me.)
is prided a word? and the last two lines were pretty random, i dont like the dead to me, it seems kinda childish but if screamed i guess it would work
Your superbia does not
Impress me one bit.
the things that you do
Don't complement your wit.
Objects of desire
distort and cloud your vision;
Why do you think I
Came to this decision?
really like this, i added the "the" to keep the flow, ialso was not to found of the internal rhyme of cloud and shroud so i gave a suggestion that keeps the idea/ flow, but dest have the rhyme. other then that i think this part was excellent

(Come on, ************,)
Use me for your amusement. not bad, gots really good emotion, i like it prolly screamed in a breakdown type deal? i unno just what im visioning it as. again whats the ****? bitch im guessing

Someday, From the
inside out, Your exterior will
Kill someone. I refuse to
dont really get the imagry of someones exterior killing someone, anyother word other then exterior would make this whole section awsome, maybe even a word you've used above like advise, or pride or ego? i unno just a sugestion extirior sounds funny
Stick around and be
Part of your(the insdead of your? maybe) blame.
You act like nothing happened,
So don't lean on me.
(Your crutch is broken.)
good, last 3 lines are solid.

No matter how hard I try
I can't seem to get
All the anger outside.
Sorrow has already
Flashed before my eyes,
Regret shall I deny.
The time for retribution is nigh!
rhyming seems alittle forced, the overall idea and what your trying to say here is pretty awsome, so i think if you werent shackled by a rhyme here you could make this REALLY cool.

(Use me.
Ignore me.
Use me.
Hate me.)good i like it, nice ending


overall it has quite a bit of potential, with some work and fixing up a few awkward things i can see this turning out really swell. this is deffitly on the better half of metal/metalcore songs ive read, so.... well done.

if you dont mind giving mine a crit or opinion its in my sig, thanks a ton.