#1
This is untitled for now, um yea, C4C leave a link plz.


[RIGHT]I [size="7"]write[/SIZE] this letter
In [size="5"]hopes,[/SIZE]
[/RIGHT]
[LEFT]That I [size="6"]grabbed[/SIZE] the [I]paper[/I] and [i]pencil[/i].
For a reason. 
[/LEFT]
[RIGHT]You see, this isn’t a quest for [size="7"]attention[/SIZE]
It’s a way of [size="2"][U]recognition[/U].[/SIZE]
[/RIGHT]
[CENTER][size="1"]For myself.[/SIZE]
[size="2"]For the record.[/SIZE]

[size="5"][B]I’m not here[/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]

[LEFT]How come it [size="5"]happens[/SIZE] like this?
Does she want him [I]dead[/I]?[/LEFT]

[CENTER]Do you [I]believe[/I] that words can [B]fix[/B] this?[/CENTER]

[RIGHT][size="6"]Hung[/SIZE] from the gallows,
She has that [size="2"][I]power.[/I][/SIZE][/RIGHT]

[LEFT]I [size="7"]wrote[/SIZE] this in hopes
That you can stop the [size="5"][U]plague[/U].[/SIZE].


[I]Hidden[/I], in the context,
By [B]Nostradamus[/B]:[/LEFT]

[RIGHT]What is going around?
It’s called a[size="5"] chain reaction[/SIZE][/RIGHT]
[CENTER]And in this particular [I]case[/I][/CENTER]
[LEFT][B]Love[/B][/LEFT] [CENTER]runs[/CENTER] [RIGHT]away[/RIGHT]

[CENTER]
[size="1"][I]Time is of limited extent.[/I][/SIZE][/CENTER]


[RIGHT][size="1"]Signed/Sealed:
My fingers are numb[/SIZE][/RIGHT]


I don't know.
Last edited by thefoundationof at Oct 14, 2007,
#2
Hmm. This is interesting. There's a lot I like about this, but the whole format has some good and bad points. First the good stuff: the "for myself, for the record, I'm not here" and the "hung from the gallows/she has that power" are both really effective and use the formatting very well. The way you put emphasis through the shape and size of the words adds a lot in those lines. The general concept and writing is definitely good, but It definitely looks like it was inspired by ee cummings. I don't know if that was intentional, but whenever you do interesting formatting stuff like that it's going to appear that you were influenced by him. The other thing you should watch out for is you grammar; in a poem like this it's already kind of difficult to read fluidly, so I would make sure your sentences are correct. Like, I'm not sure if " I grabbed the paper and pencil for a reason" is in the same sentence as the first two lines; if it is, I would add a "that" before "i grabbed" and if it isn't I would put a period after "in hopes". The other thing I might rephrase is "this isn't a way for attention", just cause it sounds kind of awkward to me. It's up to you though, and good job overall.

Crit mine when you get a chance?